first time

"Mak nak bawak Wafi tengok Kaabah before fly pergi UK"

;)

And so my mum, my opah and I went for Umrah.

Dan atas saranan aisyah ismail dan ammar roslizar (sikit je), I present to you for the first time on my blog, a diary style post!

I also put the date on top of each entry because this post is quite long, so you might want to rest or get some snacks between the diary entries...

I dedicate this post especially to you, dear readers.

Day 1, 19th June 09

This day revolved around my stroll around KLIA while waiting for the flight - from Kuala Lumpur to Jeddah through Abu Dhabi via Etihad Airways.

And so I received a lot of sms from my friends on that day. You might not know this but I was indeed happy when I got those text messages. And Nazam did call earlier on that day and Aizat Zahari did too a few days ago when they found out that I'll be going for umrah. I'm not sure why but I was surely elated to get those phone calls =)

At KLIA, I actually wandered around the place and I began to envisage the day that I will fly - Where will I be hovering around? Who will attend? Who will fly first? Am I going to be able to send my friends while I'm around in Malaysia?

Then, I decided to stop thinking about it and began to focus on this momentous trip.

Then, the time finally comes for me to check in and Irfan (my brother, the youngest) actually said "Eh, mane abang wafi nak pergi?". Haha, he didn't realize that I'll be going too. He's so jealous to know that I'll be travelling with my mum.

And before I board the plane and switch off my phone, I did send my last sms in Malaysia to that one person. Yeah, there're only a few more months before we're separated by the sea and mountains. (yeke mountains? entahla...) Different countries pulak tu! =(

The seating positions for me and my mum were quite afar. So, I ended up seating next to a Pakistani. And we did have a good conversation.

"Where are you flying to?"

"I'm flying to Makkah and Madinah for umrah"

"Umrah?! Masya Allah, you'll satisfy yourself"

And I was all smiles.

Day 2, 20th June 09

And then, we arrived at Jeddah airport at dawn and I got goosebumps.

We boarded the bus and our destination was Madinah. The journey took about 6 hours. Finally, we reached Madinah al-Munawwarah and checked in at the hotel.

It was Zuhur (around 12 pm) and for the first time, I'm going to Masjid Nabawi. I know that Masjid Nabawi has a green dome but I couldn't find it when I arrived.

The plan was to go to Raudhah first and then, go to Makam Rasulullah after prayer. And so, I didn't really know where Raudhah was but I know the carpet is light green in colour, the rest of the carpet in Masjid Nabawi is dark red. It's at the front and on the left side of Masjid Nabawi if you entered from the back (that is if you're facing the kiblat).

And then, I saw lots of people going to a certain place in a line and I decided to join them. I was in the line, walking slowly until I realized that Makam Rasulullah was actually on my left...exactly on my left. I was startled because I didn't know that this was the place and immediately delivered my salam because there were many people behind me. Right after that, I delivered my salam to Abu Bakar As-Siddiq and Umar Al-Khattab and then I found out I was out of Masjid Nabawi.

Azan pun berkumandang dan saya berazam untuk pergi ke Makam Rasulullah lagi...

Right after Zuhur, I got up and followed the crowd to go to Makam Rasulullah. And eventually, I found myself in a spot where there were a lot of people and I looked at the carpet - Light green! Raudhah!

Masya Allah! Allah benar-benar nak beri peluang kepada saya. Memang ramai orang di situ dan alhamdulillah, saya dapat menunaikan solat hajat di Raudhah. Entah mengapa, tiba-tiba menjadi sebak ketika berada di situ - mungkin terharu dan mungkin terlalu gembira.

After that, I decided to go to Makam Rasulullah once again. As I approach Makam Rasulullah, my heart was beating so fast, it was like riding a roller coaster (nope, definitely at a higher intensity). And this time, I managed to deliver my salam in a calmer way but I just can't deny that I was engulfed by my guilt yet I was so thankful that I was here.

Day 3, 21st June 09

This is the day where we went for ziarah around Madinah.

Masjid Quba'

Masjid Quba' merupakan masjid pertama yang dibina oleh Rasulullah dan para sahabat di Madinah dalam perjalanan hijrah dari Makkah. Rasulullah bersabda:

"Barangsiapa telah bersuci (berwudhu) di rumahnya, kemudian mendatangi Masjid Quba' lalu solat di dalamnya dua rakaat, maka baginya sama pahala dengan umrah."
(Sunan Ibn Majah, no. 1412)

Pasar Kurma

I actually laughed when the Ustaz who accompanied us said, "Ini dia pasar kurma. Boleh makan kurma banyak-banyak. Makan-makan sampai kenyang. Kemudian, minum teh di belakang."

Jabal Uhud dan Masjid Sayyid al-Syuhada

Rasulullah bersabda:
"Sesiapa yang mendirikan sembahyang jenazah, maka dia mendapatkan satu qirat (qirat adalah kinayah bagi ganjaran pahala yang sangat banyak). Jika dia menghadiri pengebumiannya maka dia mendapat dua qirat. Satu qirat adalah sama dengan bukit Uhud."
(Sahih Muslim, no. 1575)

Inilah rupa-rupanya Bukit Uhud yang sering didengar dalam sejarah Islam. Dan di Masjid Nabawi serta di Masjidil Haram, boleh dikatakan setiap kali selepas solat fardhu pasti akan diikuti oleh solat jenazah.

Jabal Rumat (Bukit al-Ainain)

Tempat ini dekat dengan Jabal Uhud. Kisahnya semasa Perang Uhud, Rasulullah mengarahkan 50 orang pemanah untuk berada di atas bukit itu dan baginda berkata, "Lindungilah pasukan kuda, jangan sampai mereka menembus masuk ke kita, dan tetaplah di tempatmu, kalah atau menang, jangan sampai mereka masuk di belakangmu."

Namun, apabila kemenangan kelihatan seperti berada di tangan kaum muslimin, para pemanah berteriak "Rampasan" dan mereka turun dari bukit itu (mereka terlupa akan pesanan Rasulullah). Kaum musyrikin melihat ada celah kosong dan mereka pun pusing ke arah belakang bukit dan mengepung kaum muslimin. Banyak sahabat yang gugur syahid dan termasuklah Saidina Hamzah Asadullah dan mendapat gelaran Sayyid al-Syuhada (Pemimpin para syuhada).

When I hear about Saidina Hamzah and the archers, suddenly my mind began to envision Nottingham =)

Kemudian, kami pergi ke kawasan Bukit Magnet.

This place is interesting because while we're in the bus and the engine is running, the bus actually accelerates on its own. It was moving really fast too, way faster than the speeding limit in Malaysia. Our last stop was the factory that produces Al-Quran, it was the largest if I'm not mistaken and I got a free Al-Quran at the end of the tour around the factory.

Day 4, 22nd June 09

Well, today was free from activity and so, I decided to take some pictures of the interior of Masjid Nabawi.




Actually, they don't really allow cameras to be brought into Masjid Nabawi, so you have to be sneaky.

Raudhah

"Antara rumahku dan mimbarku adalah taman (raudhah) dari taman-taman syurga."
(Sahih Bukhari, no. 1888)

And I managed to go to Raudhah and Makam Rasulullah for numerous times and it happens after I prayed or wished (berniat dalam hati) for it. Alhamdulillah.

Well, for me, I usually visit Makam Rasulullah before prayer and go to Raudhah after prayer as during this time the place is less crowded. Just some tips for fellow readers.

And truly, hati memang dapat merasakan ketenangan apabila berada di Raudhah...

Day 5, 23rd June 09

Akhirnya, dapat juga saya tangkap gambar kubah hijau yang sering dilihat dalam gambar setelah payung-payung automatik itu tutup selepas waktu Subuh (Subuh is around 3.30 - 4.00 am).

Masjid Nabawi

If you look at the picture closely, there are green circles on the wall with names written on them. The first one that I saw was Abu Hurairah (and the thought of lots of cats appeared on my mind). And then I saw Abu Bakar, Uthman and Ali. There were more of course.

"Oh, nama-nama best friend Rasulullah rupanya."

Sadly, it was the last day in Madinah and I do have to say, "Rasa macam sekejap je, kan best kalau ada kawan yang duduk kat Madinah...boleh duduk lama-lama sikit, dapat ziarah lagi banyak tempat."

And after Zuhur, I put on my kain ihram and my mum kept taking pictures of me.


Baru hari tu mengalami monolog dalaman, "Siapa la nak tangkap gambar Wafi kat sini?"...

Because usually (more like everytime), my camera would be in another person's hand and by the end of the day, there would be lots of pictures in it. Now, I know that my mum likes to take pictures of me.

1st, Niat di miqat.
Dan kami pun berangkat ke tempat miqat iaitu di Bir Ali (Dzulhulaifah)

And we began our journey in our air-conditioned bus from Madinah to Makkah.

Dan bacaan talbiah mula dilaungkan. Bacaan talbiah yang sering saya dengar di televisyen sewaktu musim haji...yang saya nyanyikan sewaktu kecil tetapi tak tahu maksudnya.

"Hamba-Mu datang menyahut panggilan-Mu Ya Allah, hamba-Mu datang menyahut panggilan-Mu;
Hamba-Mu datang menyahut panggilan-Mu Tuhan yang tidak ada sekutu bagi-Mu, hamba-Mu datang menyahut panggilan-Mu;
Sesungguhnya segala pujian dan ni'kmat serta kerajaan adalah kepunyaan-Mu, tidak ada sekutu bagi-Mu."

We arrived in Makkah and it was already dark outside so, I couldn't see much. Around 9 pm, we checked in at the hotel. After dinner, it was my first time to go to Masjidil Haram.

There are 95 gates (doors) of Masjidil Haram and we entered through Gate No. 1.

And I saw Kaabah for the first time!

I had goosebumps and not to forget, adrenaline rush. (Goosebumps and adrenaline rushes occur so frequently during this whole trip in Makkah and Madinah)

Simply undefined...

2nd, Tawaf

Dan tawaf buat pertama kali memang sangat bermakna.

I kept reminding myself that I'm doing it for Allah and I felt so blessed.

Disunatkan bagi lelaki untuk tawaf dalam keadaan idtiba' (ittiba'). Ustaz juga menceritakan Rasulullah dahulu melakukan tawaf dalam keadaan berikut untuk menunjukkan kekuatan umat Islam.

3rd, Sa'ie

I just learned that Safa and Marwah is very close to Kaabah and of course, the story of Siti Hajar flashed inside my mind...

4th, Tahallul

And this is a part of the doa,

"...maka jadikanlah tiap-tiap sehelai rambut itu cahaya bagiku pada hari kiamat dan ampunkanlah dosaku..."

And I shaved my head (well, the barber actually). It's been a while since I looked like this, the last time was in Standard 6. My mum said, "Macam Irfan!"...

5th, Tertib

I exploded with joy. Umrah telah selesai...

(Rasa macam nak sms je orang-orang kat Malaysia)

Day 6, 24th June 09

It was a whole new day and I had a stroll around the streets of Makkah with my mum. I really did enjoy it because the last time I had a walk with my mum was during the Liverpool interview. I was smiling the whole time...

We had doughnuts at the House of Donuts (the stores are everywhere, there's one on each floor in this one supermarket). It's sort of like Big Apple in Malaysia but they only have 3 types of donuts.

And I love the pigeons that were flying all around us...

Then, after Asar (around 3.30 pm), it was time for a visit to Ladang Unta, Hudaibiyah and Muzium (I'm not sure about the name).

Ladang Unta

I drank camel's milk for the first time. Fresh!

Masjid di Hudaibiyah

Di Hudaibiyah

Dan kisah tentang Perjanjian Hudaibiyah diceritakan oleh Ustaz.

And now we move on to the museum.





My mum called it "Lawatan muzium terpantas di dunia" because we had to move quickly during the tour as the museum authorities kept asking us to move on to the next section.

Day 7, 25th June 09

It's a great new day and my mum asked me to have a walk with her again =)

But before that, we went to Hijir Ismail for solat sunat.

Diriwayatkan oleh Abu Daud dari Aisyah r.a. yang bermaksud, Dari Aisyah r.a. katanya;

"Aku sangat ingin memasuki Kaabah untuk melakukan solat di dalamnya lalu Rasulullah memegang tanganku dan memasukkan aku ke dalam Hijir Ismail sambil berkata "Solatlah kamu di Hijir jika kamu ingin masuk ke dalam Kaabah kerana kaum engkau (orang Quraisy) telah meninggalkan bahagian ini di luar semasa mereka membina semula Kaabah"."

Hijir Ismail is a part of Kaabah.

Right after that, we went to Multazam...

Rasulullah SAW bersabda,

"Antara Rukun Hajar Aswad dan Pintu Ka'bah, yang disebut Multazam. Tidak seorangpun hamba Allah yang berdoa di tempat ini tanpa terkabul permintaannya."

And I keep on praying while I have the chance. And my eyes began to water...

"Mata ini begitu mudah untuk menangis bila berada di tanah suci"

Day 8, 26th June 09

It was Friday.

Memang ramai orang datang ke Masjidil Haram. You have to arrive really early for Solat Jumaat.

Later that evening, my mum told me a really good news. Alhamdulillah. Doa dimakbulkan Allah. Sebenarnya, memang banyak doa yang dimakbulkan Allah sepanjang masa di sini. Yelah, lebih-lebih lagi di tanah suci ni.

Lepas solat Maghrib (Maghrib is around 7 pm), beberapa Pak Arab datang dan duduk dekat dengan saya. Rupa-rupanya, mereka ada temu janji dengan Pak Arab yang duduk tepi saya.

So, I decided to get up and let them have some space when one of them asked me to join them. So, I just sit with them and they took out some bread and tea. Haha, so sweet. They're having a small picnic. I was thinking of telling my mum later, "Mak, tadi Wafi minum teh dengan orang Arab" but I decided not to because it seemed childish.

Well, sitting with them made me realized that I need to master Arabic because they didn't use English at all. And they were conversing in Arabic and I was like smiling all the time which I finally found out that 2 of them are from Bangladesh and one of them was from Afghanistan. Haha, ingatkan Arab. But still, they were very nice and the tea in Makkah and Madinah...delish!

Oh, one thing that I realized - the streets of Makkah are often occupied by beggars and some of them are handicapped. Whenever I see them, the image of Zaita from Lorong Midaq (Midaq Alley) appeared on my mind.

Harap-harap takdela orang macam tu...

Day 9, 27th June 09

This is the day where we went for a visit around Makkah. Most of the time, we had a bus tour meaning we didn't get out from the bus.

But we're allowed to go out at Arafah.

Jabal Rahmah (Bukit Kasih Sayang), Arafah

Struktur berwarna putih itu menandakan pertemuan Adam dan Hawa setelah mereka diturunkan dari syurga. Ustaz juga cakap yang orang selalu datang ke sini untuk berdoa agar dapat menemui jodoh.

And my mum kept reminding me to pray for that too. "Yelah mak, dah selalu doakan pon" (inner monologue). I wondered how she would react if I told her that at least 5 of my friends (lelaki la) are already engaged. Hurm...

When we got back to the hotel, we had a stroll again. Best betol...

Day 10, 28th June 09

Tomorrow's the last day...oh, sedihnya...

And I decided to take pictures around Makkah. There were so many pigeons too. I actually walk through the pigeons that were on the ground and let them fly all around me...you know, like when you see a host from a travelling TV programme who's trying to promote a place. It felt great actually.





Honestly, during my trip, I actually miss my friends.

"Kan best kalau dapat pergi dengan kawan"

Tapi Kaabah dah dekat depan mata...apa lagi?

So, I keep on praying...and praying...

I was also alone most of the time.

Yelah, bila dalam masjid, tempat solat lain dengan mak dan opah.

But thankfully, I know that Allah is always with me. And when I remember that, the feeling was so great - really inspired me and gave me the strength to carry on.

And for dinner, we had Mandi (an Arabic delicacy)...

Day 11, 29th June 09

Last day in Makkah =(

That morning, I prayed that I would have another chance to go to Multazam. And alhamdulillah, Allah gave me that chance again.

"...Maka hadapkanlah wajahmu ke arah Masjidilharam..."
(Al-Baqarah (2):144)

Actually, whenever I looked at Kaabah, the feeling is just surreal. Quite hard to describe the feeling but indeed, I'm grateful ;)

And most of the time, I would just stare at Kaabah and thank Allah for everything...

At about 10 am, it's time to board the bus and leave Makkah.

I flew home via the same connecting flight. I reached Abu Dhabi at about 9 pm and during the next 6 hours, I went for a walk with my mum around the airport and also surfed once I found out they have free internet - surfing through one blog after another. So, if you have Feedjit Live Traffic Feed and see the word Dubai, that's me!

The next flight was at about 3 am and it's a 7 hour flight O.o

Day 12, 30th June 09

It was about 2 pm and I was back in Malaysia.

And guess what? I bumped into Syakirah Zabidi (BWP from MRSM TGB). We were actually in the same plane and I only found out about this when we're at KLIA. I just messaged her the other day telling that I'm off for umrah. Then, I met Hafiz Yusof at the luggage section. It's been a while... :(

-END-

Well, that's it. It sure took me a long time to write this blog post.

Tiba-tiba rasa rindu pula...macam nak pergi balik.


Insya-Allah, Adlan Wafi...one day...

why can't the english?

Many days ago, on the frontpage of a local newspaper, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak was shown trying his hand at grinding rice at the national level Gawai Dayak celebrations in Kuching. Apart from that, Little Izzat gets Chelsea invite and Ahmadinejad wins a troubled polls. These are, however, unrelated to this post.

Compulsory English would mean
130,000 without SPM

Cool!

Our country's education system has always been so controversial.

Anyway, I do believe that this is a necessary step, I mean, it's going to happen anyway so might as well just start now. True, lots of things need to be considered. English proficiency isn't something that you can master overnight.

For me, when I was young, my dad would open up this book that has lots of words and pictures and he would teach me how to pronounce those words. I guess that's how I got early exposure of English. It's not just that, watching cartoons like Power Rangers or Bugs Bunny definitely help me in learning. Plus, subtitles are so helpful. The problem is most children would just read the subtitles without hearing the conversations. Well, you need to do both if you want to improve unless you're already good and subtitles would just be annoying.

As I grew older, music, movies, novels, comics, magazines and television series became new aids for my English proficiency. During primary school, people actually say that I have this "slang" when I speak. Yeah, it's weird. How could I get it if I have been in Malaysia after all these years? I probably picked it up from the tv or the radio. And some would be flabbergasted when I tell them that I converse in Malay with my family members (we do use English at times); okay "flabbergasted" is a strong word, more like "surprised".

When I entered KMB last 2 years, I was somehow excited because it seems like everyone is conversing in English. I mean I've never been to a place like this. The funny thing is by the end of Semester 1, the population of English-speaking KMBians was somehow significantly curtailed and I find myself using Malay more often. It's okay though, I still use English with some of my friends ;)

To all Malaysians, English (the language not the people) is like everywhere. It doesn't mean Malay is forgotten. Be good in both languages. Master English and you'll see the benefits. If you need some convincing, watch My Fair Lady. As for me, I do believe that my proficiency has improved after 2 years in IB. I have wider vocab and I am more fluent now. See, you just have to keep practising. It's a skill too. Just like cooking, playing frisbee, photography, video-editing, swimming, pen-spinning or any other skills which you'd like to learn. And by the way, I'm still learning too...

hitohira no hanabira

- a single flower petal fluttered down beside me -

photo by kaoni701

I have completed my IB journey...

Just want to remind you all that we shouldn't be so solemn and always enjoy the present to its fullest. After all...

"Flowers in full bloom do not last forever"
words of the Principal from the hit Japanese drama,
Hanazakari no Kimitachi e (Hana Kimi) / 花ざかりの君たちへ

• “mencari seorang teman seperjuangan bagaikan mencari sebiji benih pokok dalam semak yang berduri..bersedialah untuk dilukai, jangan mengalah untuk terus mencari..andai sudah kau temui, sayangilah ia dengan sepenuh hati semoga ukhwah itu akan kekal abadi..”

• "Usah ditangisi perpisahan ini, jika ada rezeki pasti kita akan dipertemukan nanti..jika tiada rezeki, semoga Allah kurniakan sahabat yang lebih baik dan lebih kekal..jika tiada rezeki juga, semoga kita dipertemukan di syurga nanti..=)"

• “Tiada nikmat terbesar selain nikmat iman dan islam yang ada pada orang mukmin melainkan teman-teman yang soleh. Apabila kamu merasai kewujudan kasih sayang yang ada padanya, maka genggamlah ia dengan seerat-eratnya…”

Source: Hakikat Kehidupan Untuk Terus Hidup

And I have so many memories at KMB. Soooooo many...

photo by Zulhilmi (Wan Chong), inspired by Farid
I don't care what you say about this picture :P

Here are some of the conversations or dialogues from KMB. It's interesting, really. Try finding yours if you can.

(It doesn't really mean these people always say these stuff, it's basically everything that I ever heard of either frequently or occasionally or even once)

Teachers

Malay
Cikgu Hasni: "Ingat selalu, sastera tak rigid"

English
Ms Oja: "I would say someone like Adlan is witty"
Me: "What's witty?" (while looking at Nina trying to get an answer)

Ms Nora: "Adlan, if you talk fast like that, no one's able to catch what you're trying to say" (after my Eng Oral)

Mathematics
Ms Kamariah: "You looked familiar...You reminded me of someone..." (during the first semester and the first consultation)

Economics
Ms Diana: "Walaupun jawapan Adlan tu merepek, tapi sebenarnya betul" (during the topic of Unemployment)

Ms Azizah: "You always say government should do this, government should do that, actually, YOU should do this and that" (her response towards our essay answers)

Biology
Ms Iliani: "Adlan, what is the meaning of degenerate? (on the topic of Proteins Semester 2)"
Me: "Urm, (while thinking for a dictionary term) it means destroyed, terhapus..."
Ms Iliani: "That's why you cannot get 7 for Bio."

Chemistry
Sir Fadzlanor: "Adlan, awak suka Chem tak?"

Ms Fauziah: "Let's party! Party! Party!" (after Chem Paper 3)

Pengajian Agama Islam
Ustaz Shiham: "Wi-fi, awak duduk mana?"
Me: "Erm...Seksyen 6, Shah Alam"
Ustaz Shiham: "Oh, kat situ ada jual pisang goreng sedap"

Theory of Knowledge
Ms Tik: "Adlan, what would you do if a woman comes to you for abortion?"
Me: "I'll show her the video tape (the video which shows the cruelty of abortion)"
Ms Tik: "That's a safe answer"

Me: "Have you made up your mind?"
Ms Yatie: "Yup.. You got what you wished for..(on her response of my group's TOK presentation marks)"

Extended Essay
Ms Rosmaria: "Yuhuu....plans never really work. Spontaneous action normally does, but too risky"

MPP
Ms Badriyah: "I always remember you everytime I make that sandwich filling"

M07J

Akmal: "Kau kenal tak siapa fernando torres?"

Che: "Kalau kau tak dapat interview ni, aku bog*l"

Syahir: "Aku tak nak ikut kau tadi sebab takut kau tinggalkan aku sorang2"

Nina: "Adlan, are you okay?"

Farhana: "Adlan, jangan pergi Nottingham tau"

Afifah: "Teruskan your happy-go-lucky nature"

Huda: "...isk..kena telur (on her birthday with Rima)"

Cto Topek Farid: "Relax Adlan, I know you can do it... (he actually wrote it on a piece of paper and I put it on my locker till the very end of IB)"

Azizi: "...." (dia tak cakap apa2 sebab dia tak reply message...just kidding) "Thank u lan. Kira aku selalu message kau la kan"

Adib: "Adlan, jom main bola petang ni"

Rima: "Doakan dapat ketenangan ek"

Ina (Amal O): "Sinisme gila (dengan sebutan baku ~ on her response towards my sarcasm)"

Akiey: "Siapa nak join Love Symphony, tulis nama kat sini ye"

Ain: "Tahniah jadi classmate 1st yang bagi duit raya."

Mun: "I know you can do it!"

Al-Hafiz: "Kitorang ada belikan roti untuk kau (on the day when I didn't go to Alamanda with my classmates because I have UKCAT and I found out there was also someone from the other class who didn't go =); roti je? beli la ayam ke...hehe)"

Hazwan: "Sushi, buat apa petang tadi?"

Arif: "Kau cerita pasal aku ye kat blog kau?"

Munee: "Haiwan apa yang paling besar kat dunia ni?"

Yati: "Adlan makan banyak"

Zizie (Hazirah): "Umur makin naik, tujuan hidup jangan lari dari landasan Allah ye"

Amal M (classmate dari MRSM TGB): "Amal tengah ada kat Dewan ni, dengar briefing (on the very first day of my life at Kolej MARA Banting ~ I found out that she's also in KMB on that very day)"

And the rest of the KMBians whose names will not be written...hehehe...

"Dah tdo?"

"What? A nice hot girl. You're the best wafer in town."

"kur kur"

"I don't usually treat people unless they've done something to me"

"If rindu aku, contact no ni keh ^_~"

"Nice video. Buat panjang lagi."

"Adlan, camne nak deposit cek?"

"Ambikkan sekali beg MABECS tu"
(ketika menyeludup beg MABECS dengan BANYAK sekali waktu exhibition kat KMB)

"Maybe you're not that interesting to be talked about"

"Aku tak tangkap gambar dengan Adlan lagi"

"Adlan, thanks for the wristlets!"

"Bergonjeng"

"I tengok video Sehati Serumpun berjuta kali dah. Tu je nak cakap"

"IB Coordinator pergi Alamanda"
(on her response of why the PIN is still not available for Econs students)

"Malam ni aku pakai seluar licin sikit la"
(But Kumpulan 3 still managed to be Johan Peringkat Negara during BTN ~ Jalur Gemilang)

"The video was awesome!"

"Nak ambik specialist apa?"
(it was her favourite question during BTN)

"Boleh tak aku pinjam raket squash untuk weekends ni?"

"Apa makanan kegemaran?"
(another favourite question)

"Kenapa tunggu? Sweetnye..."
(At KTM Subang)

"Zas!"
(from the word disaster)

"Adlan, kau siap semua tak Maths tadi?"
(right after Math Paper 2 - tak dapat la... O_o)

"Hye Adlan!"

"Aku kalau picit mata aku, kurang sikit rabun die"

"Aku nak magnet warna hijau"
(dia tinggal kat Melaka)

"Lepas ni tak leh la jumpa kau lagi"
(padahal rumah dia kat Subang)

"U belong to a piece of my memory"

"Thanks for being my friend. You really inspired me"

"Asal nak main tennis tiba-tiba?"
(during the study leave before IB Exam 2009)

"Baju kau semua Up2"

"Koyak dowh.."

"Aku dah lama tak nampak kau"

"ok now..leaves us with econ, malay, english..lyke pffftt..! confirm2 la ko dpt 7"
(during my downfall in the 2nd semester exam, ceh...)

"It was STILL a surprise to me coz I didn't think you know my birthday"
(and she shared the chocolates with her classmates & teachers =) )

"Semoga ISAC akan lebih mantap pada masa akan datang"

"Risiko!" or "RISK!"

"Adlan, how's your EE?"

"Kau pernah dengar kan yang manusia pun ada rythmical behaviour"

"Tadi accident ye?"
(on the day when I had my first accident - the bus which carry the HTAR students hit a lorry; it was minor of course...this guy actually called me when I got back to KMB)

"Adlan balik tak minggu ni?"

"Assabiyah la ko"

"Laptop aku rosak weh. Aku kena type balik semua EE"

"2012 nanti pun 3 kali Friday the 13th dalam setahun"

"Alain Delon"

"Saya memang suka makan chocolate tak suka makan sayur"

"Wat pancake jer...tapi...tak jadi2 at first"

"At least tak bagi muka blur kan??"
(during IUMC result)

"Adlan, aku tanya betul2, kau nak kahwin ke tak?"

"Adlan Wafi dah rindu kat aku"

"Kita jiran dengan dia. Abang kite selalu la main dengan dia"
(on the trip to MRSM TGB)

"Adlan Wafi!"

"Kalau dah berjaya, jangan lupa aku"

"Hai, lan! Bye, lan!"

"Ya Allah, Adlan. Malu weh aku."

"Aku ada donut Big Apple untuk kau"

"Kalau Adlan masukkan virus dalam laptop aku pon, aku bagi"

"Adlan balik tak minggu ni?"

"Kat Terendak dulu pun banyak hantu"

"Saya pon suka tengok Bleach sebab dia lain dari yang lain"

"Siapa tengok Fullmetal Alchemist?"

"I want to start eating potatoes; to get ready before going overseas"

"Wei, apasal tak balik lagi?"
(on the last day at KMB, you can guess that this person is a Business student - they all think alike)

"Haih..main surprise2 pulak dia ni"
(when she got the Secret Recipe cake)

"Adlan kat rumah selalu makan pizza la ni?"
(and I replied by saying I eat tempoyak and belacan)

"Byebye Guantanamo"
(last day for the Business students)

"Alamanda? We're on the same bus"
(the day when I go out for the last time with my classmates)

"Terkejut gila aku kalau password laptop dia nama aku"
(the attempt failed)

"Adlan, bawak Risk tau!"
(tapi dia tak main pon)

"Haha. Sangat lawak"
(on her response of why I called her phone on the last day of IB Exam)

"Bos!"
(dan akhirnya, dia panggil nama aku =) )

"Aku tak tau. Nak jumpa Puan Sharifah lepas IB nanti"
(on his response about his placement)

"ADLAN!"
(while waving his hands at me)

"Makan vitamin A"
(on his response of why he has light skin)

"I'm so happy for us"
(on the day I found out about Nottingham)

"Adlan, aku takut Maths"
(1 week before IB Exam 2009)

"Thanks sebab selalu bagi hadiah kat aku"
(padahal baru bagi satu je)

"Budak Jasin pon tengok Bleach!"

"Nanti kalau Adlan nak kahwin, boleh tempah nasi minyak kat..."

"Kau pernah makan dengan aku tak kat DS?"

"Budak bisnes je boleh ambik (hard disk)"
(when Business was the only paper left)

"Takutla dengan budak Kelas J. Asyik jumpa korang je"
(during the anonymous letter season)

"Sangat best!"
(her response on the day when Ms Iliani didn't teach in class and instead, open up a poll to vote for Bio option topics E or F; the day when I messaged half the class of M07B...haha)

"Shut up!!!"
(to express the feeling of surprise)

"Siapa fitry mahayuddin?"

"Thanks tau sebab jadi kawan aku"

"Aku tak tau kenapa, tapi aku selalu senyum waktu exam, joging pun senyum sorang2"

"Muka dia bujur...sama macam tuan dia"
(during mural painting)

"Adlan, nak muffin kau"

"Hot gile Adlan ni. Jelez kita"

"Adlan, kau nampak relax je"
(during the first week of IB exam)

"Is Manchester your first choice?"

"Fine, fine"
(and dia bayar hutang :P)

"Adlan tau tak mana2 hotel kat Shah Alam?"

"Aku suka raket tennis kau"
(and probably the reason why he always borrows it)

"Aku nak pinjam tie hijau kau esok, boleh?"
(during the interview season)

"Kau nak nasi lemak tak?"

"Adlan ni kalau bagi kerja mesti siap, perfectionist la"
(Wow! Betol! - this is a response from someone who has a sixth sense)

"Apa maksud Adlan?"

"Apa maksud Wafi?"

"Donut ni untuk orang2 special je"
(right before the IB exam)

"ifawnalda4!"

"Urm, depends on siapa la budak2 lelaki tu"
(on her response of whether she would go out alone will all her male classmates)

"If you're around JB, sms la"
(during CAS at Hospital Permai)

"Adlan!"
(waving to me from the top floor at the academic block along with 3 other friends, budak Langkawi)

"Dia tak reply langsung sms yang orang hantar"
(on the day of Nottingham results)

"Adlan Wafi yang comel"

"Where did you get that Harvard t-shirt?"

"Hebat siyal"

"Kadang2 kita boleh nampak orang tu banyak baca surat khabar bila baca essei Malay diorang"
(while we're on the flight back to Malaysia)

"Kau memang hensem"
(tengah bodek)

"Daging arnab liat sikat"
(when we talked about Sate Kajang)

"Saya tak pernah nampak awak tak senyum. Senyum mesti sampai kat telinga"

"Best tak?"
(she was asking about the Olympiad Chemistry camp which I've gone to during Semester 2 break)

"Adlan interview hari ni kan? Good luck!"

"Dah lama gile aku tak tengok Grey's Anatomy"

"Susah la kalau semua benda nak sama"
(on his response of why we like and hate different contestants of The Amazing Race)

"Oh, that's my father's name!"
(during the tea party, orientation week)

"Assalamualaikum, dah solat Asar?"

"Pergi terbang kat Adlan tu"
(It was the windiest day ever in KMB)

"Can I put your blog url in my references?"
(EE)

"Aku tak sebut nama dia, kau yang sebut"

"Smile always"

"Nanti kirim salam kat gagak hitam ye"
(CAS Permai)

"Jadi counsellor malam ni je ke?"
(during the night when I open up a temporary counselling service on YM)

"Adlan, nak kerepek"
(Kerepek Letop Terbaik!)

"Terima kasih banyak2 sebab banyak tolong aku selama ni...terutama exam"

"My results for this sem is bad"

"I will be your avid reader"

Well, I'm too tired already from recalling and typing. See, who says I don't remember what you said?

Am I glad it's all over?
Yeah, definitely.

Do I feel sad?
Sincerely, I do actually.

Am I happy?
Yup!

Do I feel empty?
I'm not a business student, so no :P

It's been one heck of a ride in KMB and I thank Allah for that...

so small

I was inspired to write this story on the day when I received a rejection letter (a change in course from Medicine to Biological Sciences is still a rejection :P) from the University of Edinburgh on 21st March 2009...

photo by blue fin art

It was Saturday. The radiant rays of the sun showered the gardens surrounding the house of the Linzes. It was spring in Edinburgh and Adam Linz woke up to a glorious new day. Rejuvenated and lively, his mind was already occupied with a list of things to do - it is always good to have dreams and aspirations early in the morning; something to kickstart a whole new day. Suddenly, he realized he had something urgent to do and off he went to the hospital.

Lying on his bed, draped in white blanket, surrounded by his family members was Zac; nervously waiting for his surgery.

"Sorry for the late arrival," said Adam.

"That's ok, it's not time yet. Thanks for coming."

Adam was so glad he made it in time. He was so thankful that he did not miss Zac before the surgery. As Zac was taken into the operating room, Adam wished him all the best.

He really cared about Zac. They have known each other for years already and nothing could separate these two best friends. As Adam left the ward, glimpses of the past began emerging in his head.

It was PE (Physical Education) period and they were heading to the swimming pool. Mr Aaron was going to give swimming lessons to his class. Somehow, Zac was not fond of the idea. Adam sensed that his friend appeared uncomfortable and decided to confront him.

"Hey Zac, you're ok?"

Initially, Zac didn't want to confide his secret with Adam. He preferred to keep things to himself. He never intended to share his enigma with anyone.

Nevertheless, Zac's trust towards Adam was so strong; he believed that he can count on him. Without a moment's hesitation, he grabbed Adam's hand and put it on his chest right where the heart is.

Adam startled. He could feel like there seemed to be a hole - there was a hollow.

Pectus excavatum. The congenital deformity had been a part of Zac's life since he was born. It was not life-threatening. His health was unaffected regardless of the hollow in his chest. However, it would be undoubtedly difficult for someone to bear with the deformity. All of the questions that arose before were answered - Why Zac did not want to join the swimming club? Why Zac never liked the sea?

Zac's low self-esteem made him shut himself out from enjoying his life.

A tear trickled down Zac's cheek.

"Don't worry. I'll be with you all the way," Adam comforted.

But Zac could hardly utter a word. And Adam just wrapped his arms around his dear friend hoping that he would calm down.

They eventually joined their classmates in the pool and of course, the inevitable happened. People started teasing Zac and called him names: Hollow, Chest-hole and much more than you can imagine. It was unbearable. God knows what Zac was feeling at the moment but he was not paying any attention to the ruthless individuals.

Adam approached Zac but thankfully, he was still smiling; swimming in the crystal clear water without showing any signs of being irritated by the harsh words thrown at him. Adam was simply glad for his friend.

They say good news travels fast. Unfortunately, bad news travels faster. By next week, almost everyone in high school knew about Zac's deformity. Some were being understanding and gave him support but most were showing much negative attitude towards the innocent teenager.

But Zac could not take it anymore. People were torturing him emotionally. Adam's words of solace barely help in relieving his friend. Zac was in a state of turmoil. He was deeply frustrated and discontented. And all Adam could do was sincerely to be there for his friend.

"Hey Zac, calm down," said Adam.

"Sometimes, I wish you could just leave me alone. You don't even know how it feels like to have a hollow in your chest," said Zac while walking away from Adam. Zac was engulfed by rage and bitterness. Even so, he knew deep down inside he truly appreciates everything that Adam did for him. Who else could he depend on if it is not on his own dear friend?

Adam could not agree more. You just would not know how it feels like until you are in that person's shoes. Despite what Zac said, Adam remained loyal to his friend. Adam comprehended the fact that he needs to be more sensitive.

Several months passed and somehow, Zac suffered several episodes of breathing difficulty. He had also been complaining about having occasional neck and shoulder muscle pain. Zac knew that it was the time to make an appointment with a specialist.

The pulmonologist confirmed that Zac had a lower lung capacity than an average teenager of his age. Zac's eyes lit up. He would undergo a surgery and he would no longer have the deformity.

Several years after the surgery passed and Zac was enjoying his life as a normal young man. That was all he had ever wanted. To have a feeling of acceptance and belonging among his friends. Now, he could try everything without any sense of inferiority.

And Adam, as any friend would, was so happy for his best friend. And forever in his heart will he remember the very words which Zac told him right after the surgery went successfully.

"You know Adam, nothing that I feel today could ever be meaningful if it wasn't for you, my friends and family."

"Thinking about all the hindrances that I faced in the past, I knew they were not really important. Love is what has carried me up till this day. What is a hollow in my chest compared to the people that I care in life? And when I keep pondering these thoughts in my head it surely makes everything - the deformity, the obstructions that I've encountered and everything that made me feel inferior seem so insignificant...seem so small..."

What you got if you ain't got love
The kind that you just wanna give away
It's okay to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through

I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out
And just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands

And when you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

-Carrie Underwood-

Sometimes, we kept wasting our time and energy by dwelling on the many minor irritations of life; instead, focus on the things which are truly vital - things which make life meaningful. And when you've figured that out, that's when everything would seem so small...

disturbia

And so I went jogging yesterday early in the morning and the whole time, I just could not take my mind off the interview that I had several days ago.

When I got back to my room, I got several messages on my phone:

"Adlan, Nottingham dah keluar."

Firstly, if there was such an award, the University of Nottingham would easily win the university with the Most Anticipated Interview as the period between the time when the interview invitations were released and the interview session was so long; it extended to almost two months. After several weeks of waiting, I've finally managed to successfully go to all my interviews (with the same attire successively =P).

However, there were several hindrances that I've encountered before that day arrives. It's more like a dilemma. Some of my friends were advising me of not going to this interview as some applicants are currently not holding any conditional offers. At that point, I was actually facing with one of the most difficult decisions that I have to make in life. Should I abandon my dream? Should I give opportunity to those who are still waiting? In the end, I just keep telling myself that there is a possibility for all of us to get the offers. I mean, it's not impossible.

And so I asked my friends to send this message to these people:

"See you in Nottingham"

But after attending the interview, I doubt that getting the offer would be easy...for me that is...

The third. The last.

photo by Bellerus

24th March 09
The University of Nottingham, Chulan Tower
Nottingham

Truthfully, Nottingham interview really made me nervous. I guess the last interview that I had was in the month of January, so somehow, I might have lost my touch.

And for the last time, here are my questions:

1. Why doctor? (This question never loses its popularity)
2. Why doctor instead of other healthcare professions? (And it started to become hard)
3. Why not a pharmacist? (And it got harder)
4. Doctors have to work in a team. How do you find that different than other healthcare professions? (And even harder)

Okay, so you might say to yourself that these questions are not hard. I guess my definition of hard here is that I have difficulty in making my answers unique and interesting.

5. So, why Nottingham?

This is the question which I really looked forward to answering. And I talked a lot about it. And the interviewers didn't ask more about Nottingham which made me feel slightly demotivated. I was hoping that this question would be the one which can really make me stand out. It played a minor role...probably =(

And then, I realized that there was a question which I answered passionately. I told the interviewers about the two degrees which can be obtained in Nottingham the other one being the Bachelor of Medical Sciences degree.

6. Students will undergo an independent research project in the 3rd year which would lead to the attainment of the BMedSci degree. What do you think is the benefit of doing a research project independently?

And I told them about my EE. I chose English for my EE as it is my favourite subject (and also the only subject that I managed to score a hat trick) and it was definitely interesting to learn about linguistics despite the fact that it may not have anything to do with medicine. And I felt much better when I remembered I've said this to them...;)

Then, we move on to the part which made me feel a bit better (please note that I used "a bit" in the sentence).

7. You've taken part in several community service. Would you like to tell us more about that?

I got some hope and I told them about all of these:
A. Sehati Serumpun, Cambodia. They were interested to hear about my journey there.
B. Permai Hospital. I got to tell them about meeting mentally-challenged individuals.
C. Rumah Aman. I talked about the kids at the orphanage and the trip to Aquaria KLCC.

8. IB can be very stressful. So, how do you cope with that? (I strongly believe this question is gaining its popularity)

I talked about jogging with my mp3 player and also Frisbee. Somehow, they were intrigued to hear about Frisbee. Basically, it's almost everything that I wrote in clocks.

And finally, the time came for me to ask them if I have any questions. And I asked the question which I think is really neutral and doesn't sound desperate at all despite the opinions of many...

Adlan: May I know when the result will be out? (See, it's not THAT desperate. After all, I asked this same question for all my interviews. It's really safe.)

And I asked a question which made me feel bad for the rest of the day and hence, the reason why the title of this post is as stated and the reason why I'm not really in the mood.

Adlan: Did you have fun? (Awkward) in Malaysia? (Much more awkward)

Wafi : Shut up Adlan! Shut up! (My inner monologue)

Honestly, I was absolutely upset for asking that question. I should have just kept quiet. In a nutshell, I have to say the interview was awkward and depressing. I didn't have the capacity to use my creativity in answering the questions this time around.

One of the problems in this interview is that I kept using the same words repetitively. I just noticed that this is the problem that I faced in all three interviews. I guess that's why I didn't score high for my Speaking in IELTS.

In both of my previous interviews, I do have the feeling that I'm going to get the offer. But now, I just don't seem to have that much confidence in me. Quite frustrating though, I really hope I get it.

I think I need to remind myself of something much more important than interviews.

"...Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest."

"...Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingati Allah hati menjadi tenteram."

(Ar-Ra'd (13): 28)

And I would like to thank all my moral boosters. You made me feel better in so many ways...