speak now

Hello, sorry for not updating for a very long time. It's obvious isn't it? My blog remains dormant when I'm busy...and let me tell you, I was busy even until now but one of my jobs is about to end, insyaAllah. So yeah, I'm gonna write more posts now.

This is another flashback ;)

It's interesting really. In my life, I have always considered myself to be an extrovert. But several things in the past (whilst in the UK mostly) had proven me wrong. Deep down inside, I'm an introvert. An introvert trying to be an extrovert.

Yeah, when I was younger, probably in high school, there was one time when we had to go to an open house of my aunt in Shah Alam during Raya. And when we're there, me, my siblings and a cousin of mine went upstairs and stayed there most of the time. My cousin even said to some of the children who went upstaris, "Eh apa naik atas ni? Turun2". I was laughing at that time and told my Mum about it. Her reply:

"Korang ni memang...keturunan antisocial"

LOL

Haha, I guess she was right, huh? And when in the UK, well, when I'm around people, I tend to be quiet. It's hard really and people would judge me as someone who don't mix around with people when in fact I was naturally this way. Of course, during the high school days, I never really knew about this trait of mine. Time after time, I became the president, the committee member of numerous societies, student representatives, project managers...I was even a president of a sports club (yeah, tell me about it :P) and I also became a public speaker, a storyteller, an actor in a musical, a player in a national quiz (with those cool buzzers), never became a debater to represent my school though (a common misconception among my friends, the only debate that I have participated is the one in KMB during Economics and my class rocks! Despite the fact we didn't get 1st place), nasheed, choir, a commandant...well I can continue writing them down but the point is, I surprise myself if I had known all along that I was an introvert.

There were also various occasions in Nottingham where I would hide myself in my room when there would be lots of people in the living room. Well, I hid lots of times actually, heh. I even tweeted sometimes hoping that I would feel better telling my friend that I'm uncomfortable during that time.

I find it hard to talk to people at times. And only after several encounters would I be able to converse normally. My close friends know all along that I'm really shy and quiet. But I would not describe myself that way, haha. It was during one time when I finally figured out who I really am when I blurted out a statement during a secret meeting of the Upper East Siders as a response to how our trip had been in Turkey. I told him to read my blog when I publish the post (but tak publish lagi kan? :P) as "I am more expressive in my writing than in my speech". That hit me. That's who I really am. No wonder I've been struggling this whole time.

And then I got a wall post on FB from Kakak Nana:

Well, that wall post just made me smile. True, I don't really talk much. So, I'm probably not good at generating conversations. But at least, I'm improving. I made my nenek smile :)

And so, that's what I'll continue to do. Please pray that this shy little boy would become more unreserved. Cause he doesn't want people to think he's antisocial. He's just trying to be more open.

Rasulullah himself was a very shy man but he managed to become the most influential man in history as well as becoming the rahmat for the whole universe (Rahmatul Lil Alamin, 21:107). That is coolness!

And I, Adlan Wafi am trying to grow out of my shell...