hello cold world

You know, I've been patient for this entire semester...
(This post will be filled with pictures from the lab to avoid stress. The funny thing is, the pictures are the source of my stress :P)

March 2011 - I chose 5 homebases (categories) for my future. This will determine my happiness in Sem 5.

May 2011 - The revelation of the homebases. I got my 3rd choice. Not that bad right? But well, I only like my Top 2 - Psychiatry & Immunology.

The aftermath was disastrous. I tried to hide my frustration with a smile. I emailed the homebase that I wanted but of course, they said "No". I changed my blog's name (this and a list of other reasons led to the change of the name). I couldn't focus on my studies. The result? My result for Sem 4 was quite average but I am forever grateful to pass FBN (Functional Behavioural Neuroscience) and CLS (Clinical Laboratory Sciences II).

It was a really tough period. I thought that was it. Foolish of me to think so. It wasn't even Sem 5 at that time.

I'm really not fond of working with carcinogenic substances

That's my spot in the lab with those plates on the table. Look outside - it's already dark -_-"

Sem 5 began and I became a Year 3 student in June along with my other colleagues. I chose the best supervisor in my opinion and alhamdulillah, I got her, Dr Kim. She's like the Top Microbiologist and very motherly as well.

My project? Errr, it's the source of my stress, my behaviour, my feelings, my writings, my work, my life for the past several months -_-"

It's very demanding, very rigorous, very challenging and not for the faint-hearted. 

Doing electrophoresis like a boss

Microbiology brings out the dark side in me that I'm not proud of. But along the way, I turned over a new leaf. Thanks to Allah for sending me the people in the process ^^. 

But of course, that doesn't mean I'll be stress-free. It's Microbiology we're talking about here. And you will have no idea unless you're actually doing it. So please don't judge me.

I have to wear this shield to protect my vision from UV rays (which are also carcinogenic)

Ultra-violet light

I would put my gels on this platform to cut it in darkness

Microbiology brings out the worst in you. I'm unfortunately a victim in this case. So, if you wanna know how your friend truly is, send them to a Microbiology lab for at least 11 weeks and you'll see who they really are.

I can happily say that it has finally ended. I mean I've suffered enough. Alhamdulillah, I've escaped the treacherous lab. You know, the only thing that I enjoyed were the people. My supervisors are awesome, the people working in the lab are very helpful & understanding. 

I mean, I'm in there for only 3 months. Bayangkan orang yang buat PhD dlm Microbiology..

:O

That's 3/4 years! But guess what, there's a clear distinction between me & them. 

They love Microbiology. 

I don't.

And we discovered this cool machine on the very last day of my labwork and it's sooooo cool. The guy in the photo is my lab supervisor, Esteban and he's funny. I like making jokes with him and he'd always laugh.

I can't deny that I like doing this the most. It needs to be perfect everytime. Imperfection will lead to failure and most of the time, I succeeded in doing protein gel electrophoresis.

The PCR machine. I rocked when I'm doing PCR too.

Microbiology labwork can be quite antisocial. I know I'm introvert but do you remember? I want to become an extrovert. I love working with people. That's why I'm aiming for Psychiatry. In addition, perasaan stress, tertekan ni semua mungkin tak berlaku di kalangan mereka yang memang suka Microbiology ie Hosni. (He was sleeping when I began writing this post and he's already on his holiday since this Wednesday. Plus, it's his 1st choice and he's promoting it to others. Don't let other people suffer, please!).

This is a table-top centrifuge (like in CSI)

And this is a bigger centrifuge

And we would colour up the gels with my favourite colour - blue and let it shake on this rocker

A close friend of mine said "Kenapa nak pergi lab selalu? Tak boleh ke kalau tak pergi?"

Well, memang boleh. Tapi kalau tak pergi, siapa yang nak buat project tu? I mean my supervisors are awesome. They never made me stay late or forced me to come on weekends or do anything that is against my wishes. Everything that has happened was because of my own decisions.

I hate this stuff cause it's toxic

These are one of the many solutions that I prepared, see the name Wafi? I hope that it can be used by other people when I leave for good.

It's true actually. Like...if you have to do something that you know is right but you don't do it because of your nafs. Then, that's bad. Cause you know you should do it but you don't just because you don't feel like doing it? Allah would be very disappointed. 

I went to the lab as early as 7 am and my latest time of leaving the lab was 9.05 pm. I am appalled at my own efforts! Seriously! But what drives me? It's simply because of You.

I am finally free :')


6.32 pm and 23rd Dec marked the time when I escaped from the lab.

It's the place where I hang my labcoat & today, I threw my labcoat into the bin (literally) :D

Feels hazardous when I need to turn on the UV light

Now, I can happily say (or type) this sentence borrowed from someone popular, smile, smile, wink, wink:

"Gua takkan respect sama lu selagi tak kerja kat lab Microbiology"

Haha, just kidding! I always wanted to say that but I don't really have anything to fit into the final part :D

This lab is always this dark and if I'm the earliest or the latest, this is the usual sight in this place of torture

I kept my E.coli in here

Dah habis..you don't know how it feels like. That's why you may think of me making it a big deal; cause truly, it is a big deal. It's freedom and I can't describe this feeling in words~

The place where you can get all you want

This thing is cool. It's called the sonicator and I need to wear ear protection whenever I use it. It causes cell destruction via the production of sound waves.

Bilik PhD, tempat lepak aku dengan supervisor: Esteban and Dina. Yeap, aku tau password dia, ihik2.

If you ever faced something like this, something that you have no control over, something you cannot get out of; try to make the best of everything. Remember, it's just a phase.  Get back up and fight those monsters (in my case, it's Pseudomonas aeruginosa). Thankfully for me, it's just 11 weeks, alhamdulillah.


If you really know me, I'm a planner. I plan for my future. Most of the things that I'm doing right now have been planned a long time ago. (Most ye, not all).


I planned a lot of things for this semester but they all got reorganized and reconsidered ever since I found out the bad news in May. Things didn't go as planned..


Cause apparently, Allah has a better plan by giving me this dreadful homebase for an entire freaking semester. I did not love it but I tried my best to make everything worthwhile. I learned various techniques and discovered gadgets that I've always seen on CSI. I even went to the Dark Room (the room for photography) which apparently, bacteria love their photos to be taken too. Gedik giler bacteria ni!


Remember, it's not the way you planned it but it's how you make it happen...