scars and souvenirs

Ouch! It hurts. Rejection can be hard. No, it IS hard. What am I talking about? Well, it's about an opportunity that rarely comes in life - to represent Malaysia at the international level and bring glory to our nation through the International Chemistry Olympiad 2008.

"I'm sorry...," said the lecturer to me while avoiding any eye contact.

Those were the last few words that I heard after the names of the representatives were announced. I just can't deny that my heart was aching at that time, almost as if the pain left a scar. In that very tense moment, I looked at the faces of my competitors. I just could not describe the feeling that was engulfing me. It was not like I was angry or anything, it's just that I was frustrated. My dream of going to Hungary was crushed in a split second.



"We keep going back, stronger, not weaker, because we will not allow rejection to beat us down. It will only strengthen our resolve. To be successful there is no other way."

Earl G. Graves






I kept thinking in my head - have I disappointed my family, my friends and my teachers? Well, maybe but then I believe they would be very supportive towards me. I am able to grasp the reality that it just wasn't meant to be. After all, Allah knows best. I've learnt a lot after staying in UM (University of Malaya) for 5 weeks; not just Chemistry of course.

"Allah melapangkan rezeki bagi siapa yang Dia kehendaki dan membatasi (bagi siapa yang Dia kehendaki);..."
(Ar-Ra'd (13):26)

"Allah amplifies and straitens the means of subsistence for whom He pleases;..."
(Ar-Ra'd (13):26)

I guess we should always look at the brighter side of life.

"Positive thinking can go a long way."
A good friend of mine, Muhammad Aqeem sent an sms to me.

"You will not always get everything that you want in life," my mum said. "That's life," she continued.

We should have faith in ourselves. Allah Al-Karim (The Generous) is ever munificent. With the scar in my heart, I keep it as a souvenir and resume my journey in this impermanent world. And it's also time to head back to KMB...

fallin'

photo by slipper buddha

The 3rd semester kicked off with shocks and surprises from the result of the previous semester final exam. Some of us ameliorated while some of us worsened. As for me, I am very grateful and happy with my result. Disappointed? Of course. Although my result is good, I actually performed worse than the previous semester - I fell.

I began to reminisce all the time that I've spent to revise all the subjects. Out of all of my marks, the lowest was the subject that I studied the most and I haven't scored 7 (the highest grade) for this subject...yet.

I'm a bit sad but I realize, there is 'hikmah' behind all of these. I do not have absolute knowledge of what is good or what is bad for me. But Allah does. He knows what is best for me, for us. We may have high hopes and astonishing dreams that we want to achieve but in the end, it all comes down to what Allah has decided for us.

"...it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not."
(Al-Baqara (2):216)

When I didn't get the IB points that I wanted, I believe I have to try harder to score my desired grades. The reason why I fell this time was so that I would strive wholeheartedly next time around to gain what I wanted. After all, Allah knows what is best for us. We should accept the decrees which Allah has set with sincere hearts and believe they are all for the betterment of us. And there should never ever be a slightest doubt about that...

i don't want to miss a thing

The holidays are almost over and it's time to head back to KMB (Kolej Mara Banting)....but not for me. I would only be able to go back to my college in the next few weeks. I will miss lots and lots of classes. It's kind of sad and frustrating too as I won't be meeting my friends for a long time.

The new semester always comes with a reminder from the past - the previous semester result. I think I didn't perform well in my 2nd semester and it is such a waste. I already found out my result for HL (Higher Level) subjects and it was dreadful. I just hope that my result for the rest of the subjects would be excellent. I really want to go back to KMB especially during the first week as it is the beginning of the semester and also I would be able to get my exam papers. Looks like I will get my full result through sms. It won't be the same though - I won't feel the suspense and excitement of obtaining result in class with my friends.

When I am in KMB, somehow I feel like I am being shut from the outside world. I always get left behind in current issues. Well, of course, with the problematic wireless connection and the cancellation of free newspaper per room, any student can easily be unaware of their own nation. That includes me. I can't deny that I might be making excuses right now but it is undeniable that these could also be the possible factors of ignorance.

"The living man who does not learn, is dark, dark, like one walking in the night."
Ming Lum Paou Keen

Can you imagine future leaders who do not even realize what's happening in their own neighbourhood? Of course not! I just hope that people would be cognizant of the importance to keep abreast of the latest news. Believe me; I learned this the hard way...

all rise

The news on fuel price hike really created a certain kind of fear in most Malaysians. I mean, there would of course be major effects resulted from this rise. I kept pondering about the likely outcomes in the near future. The price of rice had already risen and soon, there will be new tariff on electricity.



"An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today."

Laurence J. Peter






A friend of mine said,

"Economics is based on assumptions".

My reply to him was,

"Assumptions, assumptions, assumptions, where is the certainty?"

The only reason why I went against him was that we were in an Economics Debate Competition. Otherwise, I would agree with him all the way.

Of course, I just can't deny that Economics is all about making predictions by using multitudinous theories and concepts. Economics is definitely one of my favourite IB (International Baccalaureate) subjects. With all of its concepts and theories, there are so many conclusions can be drawn from a single occasion.

Well, as for our beloved country, people began to think of ways for them to lessen the burden caused from the higher price of goods and services. As for myself, high price for rice - I can survive by eating sandwiches; increase in fuel price? Public transport of course! Well, I know they might not be good solutions but at least it's a start. We know inflation will happen eventually. It is not a question of why but more of a question of how - how do we overcome it?

I wonder what else will happen after this. I don't know; so I guess I'll keep predicting...