being me... denial/redemption

...baby one more time

2012-02-09T18:24:00.000Z

Do you have a passion for something?

Yes? Good.

My next question is..

How far would you go to realize your dream?

Ladies and gentlemen, I have been suffering from my long term denial since May 2011. It's apparent that I shall never reach the Acceptance stage. I didn't get Psychiatry for my 3rd Year project. Hence, the only thing to do is to find a way to redeem myself.

And guess what?

I got it. Allah gave me a chance.

I was given the opportunity to conduct a research in Psychiatry whilst in Clinical Phase. In addition, it won't be that stressful since I don't have deadlines, no taught courses along the way, no pressure in my opinion. I don't even think the research would be assessed. Cause I'm doing this purely out of interest.

I've developed the interest in Psychiatry ever since my first encounter with the module BHS (Behavioural Sciences). It was simply mesmerizing when I learned about this field of Medicine. Absolutely delightful!

And you know what? My subconscious had been trying to tell me about my inner conflicts right from the start. Just look at these pictures..

Every year, I would change the colour of my NLE (a website for Medical students in Nottingham). It just so happened that I chose green in 2011.

And this is my 3rd year timetable

And this is my new favourite drink

The only highlighter that I chose to put into my pencil case. Yeah, I decide which highlighter that gets to go with me annually. Like I care what you think of me.

And if you've received an email from me, I'm sure you'd get this signature. Just realized that my mailbox theme is also green in colour.

And this is the colour of the walls around the Division of Psychiatry in QMC, Nottingham..

Denial!

No wonder I've been having a hard time throughout the last 9 months~

Nevertheless, I am truly considering Psychiatry to be a possible future career especially with everything that happened lately. Truth be told, the only reason holding me back from making Psychiatry as my prime choice of specialty is the need for it in addition to people's stereotypes. It is important to note that Psychiatry is the 3rd choice of specialty which has recently been added into my personal list last year. As I was saying, the things that are holding me back are:

1. The need for it

Of course it's needed. I didn't say it's not needed but to how far is it of real urgency? (I tend to use a lot of rhetorical questions in my writing. Jadi, jangan gedik nak jawab :P)

2. Stereotype

Seriously, I think the way people (Medic students) look at those who have interest in Psychiatry (me) is like how the general public looks at people with mental illness. Stop giving me those looks!

Oh yeah, I also have an interest in surgery and as far as I know, I haven't seen a psychiatrist holding a scalpel.

And it was destined that I came across these two articles; the timing is just splendid. One is stating that Malaysia needs more psychiatrists (now don't give me that judgmental look just because I read Utusan..just how shallow can you be?) and another is an article written by a Medical student about the importance of Psychiatry.

Ok, back to my research. So I got an email today from Dr Stuart (my new supervisor and he's actually our CP2 or Year 4 Coordinator) asking me to start thinking of the direction of my project; and I'm just so excited right now. It has been 7 days since I met him in which he asked me to have a think as to whether I really want to conduct this research. A week has passed and my answer is yes!

Syakir asked me if I'm really up for it especially because we had just completed the Honours Year Project. It hasn't even been a month since we submitted our dissertations. Well, I'm ready to undertake a new project and this time, in my field of interest.

In my opinion, if we have passion, I don't think it would be burdening for us to strive for our goals. It's because you like it and you enjoy doing it. So, what more do you need?

Which brings me to my next point..

..when we have so much passion for something, we'd surely go for it. But when we're talking about attaining mardhatillah, how far would we go to get it?

That's all for now & that's all from me...

innocent

2012-01-22T00:14:00.000Z

This is a story about a boy who loves eating carrots..

Pada suatu ketika, ada seorang kanak-kanak lelaki yang dilahirkan dalam sebuah keluarga yang dilimpahi kasih sayang. Seperti kanak-kanak lain dalam umur 6 tahun, mindanya dipenuhi dengan fikiran yang kebudak-budakan...dia sangat rapat dan mahukan perhatian Mak dan Ayah. Bukannya Mak & Ayah tak hiraukan dia, cuma dia kadang-kadang nak tahu kalau dia memang diperlukan atau memang dimahui oleh keluarganya. Dia sangat suka mengugut dengan mengeluarkan kata-kata yang mengejutkan, sepert "bunuh diri karang" bila ayahnya marah atau apabila maknya memberi teguran. "Mak dengan Ayah betul-betul sayang ke?" "Mak dengan Ayah suka ke kalau kita takde?" Itulah antara lontaran fikiran yang berlegar-legar di dalam fikiran anak kecil ini.

Kadang-kadang, dia tak faham kenapa Ayah selalu memarahinya. Dia masih kecil dan dunianya hanyalah dalam lingkungan dirinya sendiri. Tipikal kanak-kanak.

Tibalah suatu hari, ditakdirkan Ayah memarahi kanak-kanak lelaki ini dalam perjalanan pulang ke rumah. Ketika berada di dalam kereta, dia hanya melayan perasaannya yang sedih, kecewa..apa yang patut dilakukannya ketika tiba di rumah nanti untuk menunjukkan dirinya yang sedang merajuk kepada keluarganya.

Setelah keluar dari kereta, dia pon berkata "Nak larikan diri dari rumah."

Kata-katanya ditujukan kepada ayahnya yang baru keluar dari kereta, maknya sudah lama masuk ke dalam rumah.

Dia sedang menguji ayahnya dan menantikan jawapan yang akan menentukan tindakan kanak-kanak lelaki ini yang seterusnya.

"Larilah" ujar Ayah; tanpa melihat ke arahnya.

Begitu kecewa perasaannya. Itu bukanlah apa yang hendak didengarinya. Dia pun melihat ke hadapan; jalan raya terbentang untuk menantikan langkah pertamanya untuk melarikan diri dari rumah yang telah didiami bersama keluarga yang tercinta. Tetapi hanya kerana satu pertanyaan untuk menguji ayahnya, sanggup dia menggadaikan segala-galanya. Suasana malam yang sepi seolah-olah melengkapi perasaan sedih lagi gelisah yang bermain di dalam diri.

Dia pun memulakan langkah ke arah kegelapan malam yang hanya disinari dengan lampu neon di tepi jalan.

Kemudian, dia terdengar sesuatu yang dia nantikan.

"Wafi~" keluar perkataan tersebut dari mulut Ayah.

Perfect. That's exactly what he wanted to hear.

He turned back, walked into his house knowing that he's wanted, he's loved, he's needed.

It was just a test in his childish mind. In fact, he couldn't even recall if he had ever done any more threats after this incident.

Cause he already had the answer.

-END-

Some of the stories I've written in this blog are filled with ambiguity. I leave it to you to understand it through your own way.

Because to me, past events are the key elements that make up who we are today.

And I suddenly remembered this incident a few days ago...

decode

2012-01-03T22:49:00.000Z

People really do have different levels of sensitivity..

Most of us, I'm sure are aware of the saying, "treat others how you wish to be treated" and many other forms of these quotes.

E.g.

Dionne Warwick - I treat others exactly the way I want to be treated.

Well Dionne Warwick, I bet you know that's not enough.

Why?

Let's just say 2 events in the last few days inspired me to write this post.

It's great really that most of us are good at putting ourselves in other person's shoes. Good stuff!

But you have to realize, the levels of sensitivity of each and every individual are different.

Example 1 - Frape!

Ariadne thought it would be funny to frape Cobb's FB by making a status about marriage and so she did it. Don't say she's a bad girl. She did imagine herself being fraped in the same way and she'd be fine with it. In fact, she'd laugh about it since she taught it was quite witty.

Well, well, when Cobb found out about it, he didn't even laughed. He was offended and enraged about the situation. That wasn't what Ariadne was expecting and she was baffled by the unexpected reaction.

The problem:

Ariadne did put herself in Cobb's shoes but that's not enough. She needs to know how Cobb himself would feel if he was fraped.

Ariadne imagined herself being fraped - GOOD!

Ariadne DIDN'T imagine Cobb being fraped - BAD GIRL!

Example 2 - Leaving your housemate at night

Imagine a house where all the housemates left one of them at home (a temporary one doesn't count).

All of them left without even a FB message, a text on the phone, a notice after praying together.

Now, this is the problem.

All other housemates thought they'd be cool if they themselves were the ones to be left alone at home - GOOD!

All other housemates didn't consider how the one left behind would feel when they leave him - BAD HOUSEMATES!

Hmmm, people do have different levels of sensitivity.

So Dionne Warwick, before we treat others, we have to imagine how the people themselves would feel when we treat them in a certain way..

ESPECIALLY if they are the ones closest to us~

Cause I myself would usually end up hurting those who are close to me.

And that's why I began to pray that I would be more sensitive and to avoid hurting others.

Sebab sangat penting untuk kita jaga hati saudara kita.

And me myself am trying to decode other's feelings...

ours

2011-12-31T15:55:00.002Z

This is the last post of 2011 on being me..

Just something to complete this post ^_^

So I'm back in Nottingham and my term starts on my birthdate in the first month of 2012.

But for now, I'm gonna write about about something that has taken place a few days ago.

I went to PMS (Perhimpunan Musim Sejuk) aka Winter Gathering in Loch Lomond, Scotland that took place at a mansion which I had went to 2 years ago in 2009.

That place brings back a lot of memories..so many that I kept having flashbacks over and over again.

Masterchef PMS 2011

Well anyway, prior to the event, I heard that I might be assigned to become a facilitator.

And I'm like..

"Asyik jadi facilitator je. Nak jadi benda lain pulak"

Truly, I've become facilitators like...I don't know, 5 times? That's enough for me.

So yeah, I made a request to Afif to become a member of the cooking team and I got the job, hehe.

I was probably influenced by a former murabbi whom said,

"best apa jadi team dapur, dapat berukhuwah"

And truly, it was a really enjoyable and wonderful experience. Honestly, I didn't even feel stressed when I was in the kitchen. Sleep-deprived, tired, exhausted and wanna lie down on the sofa upstairs - YES!

But stressed, under pressure? NOT AT ALL :D

~~Maybe because I have been doing Microbiology for one whole semester already.~~

Maybe because it's something that I really want to do and take pleasure in doing.

Sure, I didn't have the time to listen to all the speakers of the event. Well, that's the sacrifice that you have to do in order to become a member of the kitchen. I have to make do with the recordings instead, inshaAllah.

And I don't even get to chat much with the other people I care but I had the time to get to know more of those hovering in the kitchen. Of course, most of them are from Southampton, there's one from Manchester and another from London (ex-Surrey).

I enjoyed every moment of it. My favourite tasks include tasting (which me and Syak gladly add more sugar into the cooking when Anas was upstairs. Sorry Anas but I know he doesn't read my blog, hehehe), preparing entrée and making a service for all the dining sessions & of course, my specialty - plating! Apparently, my plating skills were critically acclaimed, alhamdulillah and even got a picture of my dish (it was actually a tray :P) taken by one the speakers. Too bad I didn't bring my EOS 550D into the kitchen.

I'm glad that my former murabbi influenced my decision to go for this position. It was funny to hear my team members (who are also my roommates for PMS) conversing in Kedahan slang during the whole time in the kitchen, lol!

It was really fun. And I'm gonna miss cooking with them.

I even found someone who would call me by the name, Wafi =)

Ski, the 2nd attempt

Yesterday, I went for some skiing at CairnGorm Mountain, Aviemore.

The last time I went skiing was in PMS 2009 and it wasn't really on a mountain. We skied on a hill since there was a snowstorm on the mountains at that time.

Syak meredah ribut

Well, if there was a snowstorm in 2009, then what was that yesterday??

Fahmi menikmati kesegaran salji

I always thought that skiing was more of a fun activity but now, I have to say that it's more of a test of your physical endurance and willpower. To climb uphill with 4 ski gears can be really challenging. Carrying all those gears while running around in deep snow..I felt like I was in a war during winter. It was exciting! But indubitably exhaustive!

Hanif, one of my models on the mountain

I kept lying on the snow as I was tired from all the cooking but mostly because I enjoyed doing it, haha. Thankfully, Fahmi Ruzaidi accompanied me in lying down, ihik2. Remided me of the time when I went skiing 2 years ago and lied down with Choki2 although the weather was much friendlier at that time. Anyways, I'm so going for snowboard next time. At least, you only have to carry one gear instead of 4, hahaha.

The Mansion

Apart from that, the mansion itself brings a lot of memories. I kept seeing glimpses of my first murabbi in various corners of the place. I also saw scenes from the past involving me with the people I care. It's interesting really when Allah gives you a beautiful mind that can recall sentimental events in the past. I just hope that I can put it to good use.

When I was having these glimpses from the past, it reminded me of a tweet I made once upon a time.

This place really brings back a lot of memories. Surely, I am forever grateful to have met him in KMB. I know..I haven't really talked to him for quite some time. That's okay, I remember him in my doa, inshaAllah.

The people I care

I know we didn't spend that much time but I know you're cool with that. I know that we at least talked or smiled or winked or punched on the shoulder or trying to make me jealous of the things that I already did :P (seriously, most of the things that you've talked about Edinburgh's Camera Obscura are some of which I've experienced in Malaysia including the vortex. But I would go there for the 3D pictures since that's the thing that attracted me the most, hehe) or hugged me when I was shivering in the cold during Subuh or even sat on top of me and read about weird drug names while I was lying on the sofa trying to get some rest from the kitchen duties ;P

I would have written all about you in this post but I think I'm just going to write them down in my journal.

Until then, these memories are mine; these memories are ours...

hello cold world

2011-12-23T21:37:00.003Z

You know, I've been patient for this entire semester...
(This post will be filled with pictures from the lab to avoid stress. The funny thing is, the pictures are the source of my stress :P)

March 2011 - I chose 5 homebases (categories) for my future. This will determine my happiness in Sem 5.

May 2011 - The revelation of the homebases. I got my 3rd choice. Not that bad right? But well, I only like my Top 2 - Psychiatry & Immunology.

The aftermath was disastrous. I tried to hide my frustration with a smile. I emailed the homebase that I wanted but of course, they said "No". I changed my blog's name (this and a list of other reasons led to the change of the name). I couldn't focus on my studies. The result? My result for Sem 4 was quite average but I am forever grateful to pass FBN (Functional Behavioural Neuroscience) and CLS (Clinical Laboratory Sciences II).

It was a really tough period. I thought that was it. Foolish of me to think so. It wasn't even Sem 5 at that time.

I'm really not fond of working with carcinogenic substances

That's my spot in the lab with those plates on the table. Look outside - it's already dark -_-"

Sem 5 began and I became a Year 3 student in June along with my other colleagues. I chose the best supervisor in my opinion and alhamdulillah, I got her, Dr Kim. She's like the Top Microbiologist and very motherly as well.

My project? Errr, it's the source of my stress, my behaviour, my feelings, my writings, my work, my life for the past several months -_-"

It's very demanding, very rigorous, very challenging and not for the faint-hearted.

Doing electrophoresis like a boss

Microbiology brings out the dark side in me that I'm not proud of. But along the way, I turned over a new leaf. Thanks to Allah for sending me the people in the process ^^.

But of course, that doesn't mean I'll be stress-free. It's Microbiology we're talking about here. And you will have no idea unless you're actually doing it. So please don't judge me.

I have to wear this shield to protect my vision from UV rays (which are also carcinogenic)

Ultra-violet light

I would put my gels on this platform to cut it in darkness

Microbiology brings out the worst in you. I'm unfortunately a victim in this case. So, if you wanna know how your friend truly is, send them to a Microbiology lab for at least 11 weeks and you'll see who they really are.

I can happily say that it has finally ended. I mean I've suffered enough. Alhamdulillah, I've escaped the treacherous lab. You know, the only thing that I enjoyed were the people. My supervisors are awesome, the people working in the lab are very helpful & understanding.

I mean, I'm in there for only 3 months. Bayangkan orang yang buat PhD dlm Microbiology..

:O

That's 3/4 years! But guess what, there's a clear distinction between me & them.

They love Microbiology.

I don't.

And we discovered this cool machine on the very last day of my labwork and it's sooooo cool. The guy in the photo is my lab supervisor, Esteban and he's funny. I like making jokes with him and he'd always laugh.

I can't deny that I like doing this the most. It needs to be perfect everytime. Imperfection will lead to failure and most of the time, I succeeded in doing protein gel electrophoresis.

The PCR machine. I rocked when I'm doing PCR too.

Microbiology labwork can be quite antisocial. I know I'm introvert but do you remember? I want to become an extrovert. I love working with people. That's why I'm aiming for Psychiatry. In addition, perasaan stress, tertekan ni semua mungkin tak berlaku di kalangan mereka yang memang suka Microbiology ie Hosni. (He was sleeping when I began writing this post and he's already on his holiday since this Wednesday. Plus, it's his 1st choice and he's promoting it to others. Don't let other people suffer, please!).

This is a table-top centrifuge (like in CSI)

And this is a bigger centrifuge

And we would colour up the gels with my favourite colour - blue and let it shake on this rocker

A close friend of mine said "Kenapa nak pergi lab selalu? Tak boleh ke kalau tak pergi?"

Well, memang boleh. Tapi kalau tak pergi, siapa yang nak buat project tu? I mean my supervisors are awesome. They never made me stay late or forced me to come on weekends or do anything that is against my wishes. Everything that has happened was because of my own decisions.

I hate this stuff cause it's toxic

These are one of the many solutions that I prepared, see the name Wafi? I hope that it can be used by other people when I leave for good.

It's true actually. Like...if you have to do something that you know is right but you don't do it because of your nafs. Then, that's bad. Cause you know you should do it but you don't just because you don't feel like doing it? Allah would be very disappointed.

I went to the lab as early as 7 am and my latest time of leaving the lab was 9.05 pm. I am appalled at my own efforts! Seriously! But what drives me? It's simply because of You.

I am finally free :')

6.32 pm and 23rd Dec marked the time when I escaped from the lab.

It's the place where I hang my labcoat & today, I threw my labcoat into the bin (literally) :D

Feels hazardous when I need to turn on the UV light

Now, I can happily say (or type) this sentence borrowed from someone popular, smile, smile, wink, wink:

"Gua takkan respect sama lu selagi tak kerja kat lab Microbiology"

Haha, just kidding! I always wanted to say that but I don't really have anything to fit into the final part :D

This lab is always this dark and if I'm the earliest or the latest, this is the usual sight in this place of torture

I kept my E.coli in here

Dah habis..you don't know how it feels like. That's why you may think of me making it a big deal; cause truly, it is a big deal. It's freedom and I can't describe this feeling in words~

The place where you can get all you want

This thing is cool. It's called the sonicator and I need to wear ear protection whenever I use it. It causes cell destruction via the production of sound waves.

Bilik PhD, tempat lepak aku dengan supervisor: Esteban and Dina. Yeap, aku tau password dia, ihik2.

If you ever faced something like this, something that you have no control over, something you cannot get out of; try to make the best of everything. Remember, it's just a phase. Get back up and fight those monsters (in my case, it's Pseudomonas aeruginosa). Thankfully for me, it's just 11 weeks, alhamdulillah.

If you really know me, I'm a planner. I plan for my future. Most of the things that I'm doing right now have been planned a long time ago. (Most ye, not all).

I planned a lot of things for this semester but they all got reorganized and reconsidered ever since I found out the bad news in May. Things didn't go as planned..

Cause apparently, Allah has a better plan by giving me this dreadful homebase for an entire freaking semester. I did not love it but I tried my best to make everything worthwhile. I learned various techniques and discovered gadgets that I've always seen on CSI. I even went to the Dark Room (the room for photography) which apparently, bacteria love their photos to be taken too. Gedik giler bacteria ni!

Remember, it's not the way you planned it but it's how you make it happen...

the beautiful occupation

2011-12-02T18:47:00.000Z

I am just done with one of my 2 essay exams of the year!

It feels like this huge weight impeding upon me has been lifted and I can breathe a lot better, alhamdulillah. I have to say, that it was really nerve-racking during the days prior to the exam today. MBP - Molecular Bacterial Pathogenicity is now over!

Bring on III!

III - Innate Immunity and the Immunopathology of Inflammation is actually an optional module that I chose during the end of my second year. It's sort of like my way to overcome one of my past denials - not getting my Top 2 choices of homebase. At least, I can still learn my favourite topic - Immunology!

So technically, I should perform better, right?

InshaAllah ;)

For now, I just want to share with you the blogpost that landed me a new job with The University of Nottingham. I am now a Student Blogger and my job is to write about my life at UoN for once a week..which is cool cause I like writing, so this is like a dream job for me. Hopefully I will become a Student Blogger for a long time, inshaAllah.

Well, I only post on Sundays and you can always check my blog on the UoN blogs under Student Life. Oh, there are 4 Student Bloggers and we all use the same blog. So, don't get mixed up.

For now, enjoy this post that I've sent for my job application on 11/10/11...~~while I suffer another week of strenuous studying for the last exam of this semester~~

My Blogpost for the Position of Student Blogger

It’s my 3rd year in Nottingham and it’s the year to make it or break it! After going through my first 2 years getting average results, I believe it’s time for me to take things seriously and try to get the best result that I can get. I’m currently working in a lab for my third year project and if everything goes well, I’ll be graduating in winter 2012. I am really grateful to be a Medical student in Nottingham. Doing the double degree programme means I’ll be graduating twice! And not all Medical students in the UK get this special chance.

Besides, I’m near to completion of my Nottingham Advantage Award (NAA). I’ve chosen the third and final module which will begin this Thursday. The first 2 modules, Student Associates Scheme and becoming a researcher at Nottingham University Samworth Academy (NUSA) were definitely the highlights of my 2nd year. I can’t believe it’s going to end soon. I truly cherish the times I had with the children in the previous semester.

I had a great time undertaking the award. If all goes well, I would be able to attend the Annual Celebration Event at Trent Building. If I remember well; last year, the party was definitely genteel.

Although I am almost done with the Award, I’m presently waiting for a reply from Barnado’s, a leading children’s charity in the UK regarding a volunteering project which I’m thinking of doing. The previous two NAA modules might probably influence my decision in undertaking this volunteering work.

This was the card made by the children during my last day as a Student Associate at Portland Primary School, Bilborough. I really miss them.

Oh yeah, I also have to finalize the schedule for BOOM (Blooming out of Mediocrity) Camp, an event organized by IKRAM, a Malaysian students organization throughout the UK and Ireland. Since I was given the trust to become the project manager for this camp, I really want to make everything perfect. It’s essentially a camp for freshers from Malaysia which will be held next week in Newark. We’ll be playing some cave maze, climbing, our own version of The Amazing Race and barbeque party. I just can’t wait for some fun in the air. Hope everything goes smooth.

By the way, did you go to Goose Fair last week? The annual fun fair just ended a few days ago. If you didn’t get the chance, that’s alright. You can go again next year. It’s really exciting to go on the rides and feel a rush of adrenaline during the cold dark night. Plus, Goose Fair is one of the events that are only held in Nottingham.

Goose Fair, Nottingham

Ok, got to go now. I’m meeting my supervisor at 10 am...

i see the light

2011-11-14T00:35:00.002Z

I have a very important exam this Wednesday.

So, this is more like a blog response to my own previous post which clearly showed my stressful condition. This post was made in reference to at least 5 people. Nope, make it 10.

1. Scrabble

It was Nottingham Malaysian Games (NMG) yesterday and I was the Quartermaster (QM) for Scrabble. It was probably the only game that I would play in NMG since Ultimate Frisbee was never in the list. But of course, there's no way I could play and maintain peace at the same time. So, I became a full-timer QM.

Anyway, I went out of my house early in the morning with a huge bag that contains all the equipments. It was important to note that the bag's handle was broken so I had to lower my body to roll the bag. It was very challenging and I somehow felt like I was in The Amazing Race doing a Road Block. Cami (Syahmi) even said that I looked like a mak cik yang terbongkok-bongkok.

Well, the game began a bit late and I even mentioned to one of my volunteers that this game is really peaceful. Yeah right, things went into chaos after the first two rounds. Some players began giving their opinions and even bad-mouthing me. On the bright side, they weren't doing ghibah (mengumpat) as I heard those remarks right in front of me. Of course, what else I would do? There's no way I'm going to throw lemon meringue pies into these people's faces. You might think that Scrabble should not be that all challenging. Well, you have to know that these players are highly intellectual people and it's hard for me to convince them to follow the way that I have set up. Oh right, some players even ridiculed me and made a joke about myself. Sigh~

Nevertheless, most of the players were being very polite by suggesting some changes to be made in the future. Some of them courteously asked me to consider changing the way the game system works which I gladly thought about it as they were being very professional. In the end, Scrabble was the last game to finish at Portland D floor and I was really grateful that it has finally ended.

Firstly, I just want to say to all QMs, you have my utmost respect! Now that I became one, it was truly one of the most stressful jobs to be given to anyone on NMG. It's not that I was being disrespectful to any QMs before. What I'm saying is - you can never appreciate unless you experience it yourself. Thank you Allah for giving me this chance. Hopefully, this would be the only one. Haha. I mean, ni baru Scrabble, belum lg bola, basketball, netball, badminton. I mean if indoor games are already this chaotic, outdoor games are more likely to be more challenging. To all QMs, you can all work in a Microbiology lab and survive! Seriously..

I just want to give a shoutout to all Scrabble volunteers: Dalila Atiqah, Viviene and Dorcas for helping me with Excel, tables, players with difficult behaviour and many more dramas that happened in that small room. At least, takde adegan lempang-melempang. To Akmal Aliff, kalau aku nampak apa dia buat kat kau, argh!!! Well, ape kau expect? Takkan aku nak baling pie kat muka dia kot, haha. At least, aku bagi kau Ferrero Rocher la lepas tu or Maltesers. And then aku bawak kau gi makan burger and minum Shakeaway.

I also want to thank all the Nottingham players: Li Chen, Zhao Wen and Cami for giving me guidance, tips, advices and even to help me calculate to see whether I'm doing the Math correctly. I can vividly remember them standing near the computer to check if I was entering the data correctly along with the volunteers. Thank you so much!

Guess what? I've decided to not get involve in Scrabble in the future. The reason? Just because I'm not up to the standards of the players in that room. Plus, I think I've had enough of Scrabble tiles. Hahaha.

2. The remaining hours of NMG

I would like to apologize to a lot of people that I didn't have the time to spend with. The people whom I could only looked from afar but not calling them and say "Hi" or giving salam as I had to be in that room most of the time. Ashraf Zakwan, I saw you walking down the hill when I was in the room. I went to the window thinking that at least, you could see me and it would be alright. But no, it wasn't destined, heh. Also to the people who tried to call me but not being able to reach me, I'm so sorry; as well as those whom I can only talk in less than 5 minutes and that was it. I would also like to apologize to Nazmi (the director of NMG) for not even looking at your face when you entered the room and talked to me. I was sorting out the data during the Swiss phase of the tournament and players were being restless due to my lack of knowledge in Excel until Dalila lended a hand. It was probably the most stressful period of the day.

Apart from that, I was trying to redeem my past failures in the last 2 years of buying delicious Nasi Lemak. Let's just say I bought 2 of them yesterday and they were superb, alhamdulillah. And that was a redemption. I would also like to thank Cami for accompanying me to roll the broken bag from Portland to my home.

3. The talk that we had during dinner

Cami, you knew better what happened during this period. Thank you for your advices ~~and secrets~~. It's true, different people have different levels of sensitivity. Ok, I'm not going to elaborate. Cukup sampai sini, heheh. Jangan bagitau orang lain, Cami ;P

4. Cleaning up the disastrous-looking kitchen at night

Ok, I know...I should be studying. Aku kena score this upcoming paper like seriously. But when I think about it again, takkan nak biarkan dapur camtu. So, me, Faiz Khalid, Hakim Razali and Afif cleaned up the kitchen. I considered going upstairs and listening to the podcasts for the remaining 8 lectures but I decided to help along. I mean, I can clean dishes meticulously (lol, I sounded like someone suffering from OCD and I somehow think I am). And then, Faiz suddenly recited a verse from the Quran...

كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْقِتَالُ

And then, I'm like...wo, wo. That's like one of the verses that struck a chord with me. You should've seen the look on my face, I'm like "Wow". Allah is reminding me of this verse that I had once encountered in KMB when I had a tough time; the verse that frequently run through my mind when I was having difficulty but somehow, I didn't even remember it during this hard time.

Afterwards, we were like completing the verse in harmony (well, sort of). And I smiled when we finished reciting it. 2:216. how could I forget it? Well, you didn't. You were there to remind me. That's why I asked you why you thought about that verse. ~~Although your response was to refer to the leftover chickens~~.

5. The walk back home after visiting Lutfi

Lut, lut, you made me worried sick. Ok, this is the first time I used this phrase to you, I think. Thank Allah, it wasn't serious :)

So, me, Cami and my housemates were walking home from QMC when we bumped into Bear (Afiq) and the gang. And Bear told me something that made me smile. He said about the reaction that this person had when he got my note. Knowing that I made someone smiled (or happy) makes me happy. So, I looked to the sky and thought, "This was a good week".

And I told Cami about it and he enlightened me more with his words of wisdom. He said that sometimes, we tend to forget about the things around us. We'd be too focussed on our big problem and forget about the good surrounding around us. Like when you're drinking a cup of tea or coffee. If you drink it in one go, you would've missed the taste and might not be enjoying it. But if you take your time and experience it, you will feel the richness of the taste. And I'm like, "Wow Cami, you should write a blog". Haha.

It's true. Sometimes, I'd be too focussed and stressed about something (the exam on Wednesday) that I would begin to forget about everything around me. I have a really good support system. It's just that, most of the time, I overlooked them.

Ok, that's all for now. I still have 8 lectures to go but at least, I'm back to being me...

under pressure

2011-11-10T23:04:00.000Z

It's me again.

Microbiology.

1 word that's enough to make me feel exhausted.

It's tiring, repetitive, demanding..I fell like I'm already in a working environment.

My life is hectic.

If you say "busy", I'll say "Microbiology".

In addition to that, Nottingham Games is on the weekend before our 1st exam. Like seriously? I'm not sure why I did that. For one thing, I know it's not to please anyone.

Maybe that's the reason why I'm feeling this way right now. I want to redeem myself for the first 2 years of Medicine. THIS is not redeeming. THIS is jeopardizing everything I have ever planned.

Working in the lab sure makes my 3rd year stressful. Pastu ada orang yang tak faham bahasa kan; instead of being supportive, they become annoying. Annoyingly obnoxious.

My mode right now is "like i care". So, if you think of saying something to me, firstly, imagine me saying this phrase to you. Yeah, like I care.

I need time for myself. I have to reorganize my life schedule. Things are not going smooth right now. I am not being me.

Emo giler post ni.

Now, I'm going to continue...

In life, Allah will test you to your limits. If you're not good at handling this, you're going to find it hard to survive in this life.

Firstly, the exam is on Wednesday. I have like 5 days to prepare right? Well, not really. Minus Notts Games, minus orang datang rumah. But one thing's for sure. I'm not going to quit cause that's not being me and that's not what Allah wants me to be. I can study on Sunday and even on Nottingham Games when everyone's outside. And I'm going to shut my phone off when the time is right.

Secondly, you are going to ignore people. Yes, ignore people that don't understand you. Don't bother if they annoy you. They're just minor distractions in life. Apologize if you cannot meet the deadline and suggest another mutually acceptable date. If they say they're busy, that's probably because they have never been in a Microbiology lab.

Thirdly, I will keep calm and carry on. Basically, what I'm feeling right now is because I have an IMPORTANT exam next week. Plus, a section of my dissertation to be submitted on Monday. In addition to the Scrabble tournament that I had no idea that we're sending more than 2 people from Nottingham to play. Argh, stress!

-END-

Now, apart from all those negative vibes that you can get from reading the above writings; I'll let you know what made my day in this week:

1. On Monday, I got an email saying that I got the position that I was applying for. It's something that I had wished for so long, alhamdulillah. This will make my life at the university more interesting. And yesterday was the day for the first briefing for my new position. I love my new job! Makes me feel jubilant despite the gloominess of the evening sky. The meeting was held at 4.15pm and I know I was smiling at that time.

2. Yesterday, Jeni, a lady who's working in the same lab as I am; revealed to me that my project is going towards a different direction with new techniques, new methods which could lead to new discovery, iA. And yeah, less dull than what I've done previously. Plus, she's the one who suggested it to Dr Kim. Thanks Jeni for making me feel more hopeful.

3. Banana milkshake. Cami promised me that he'd get me a banana milkshake. It took him months :P But it makes me smile nonetheless when he finally gave it to me yesterday.

4. Tempe. Semalam aku goreng tempe, pergh..bila makan terus rasa happy.

5. And of course, this:

Gambar ni tak sempat nak masuk birthday post, huhu

Techinically, I received this gift last week on the night of Eid Ul-Adha but still, bila tengok rasa macam nak tergelak & rasa bersyukur sebab ada kawan yang sanggup go to a distance to make my day. Thank you. Still tak nak keluar kan dari plastik sebab rasa macam sayang nak pakai, haha.

Ok, that's all for now. I need to sleep early. My lab sessions are very challenging. Right now, it's like 7-6.

And when I have too many things at hand, one after another, I remember 94:7...

last friday night

2011-11-04T22:34:00.000Z

Okay, as usual...I would write a blogpost about my birthday.

My cake =)

So this is a story of what happened yesterday...so I went for an interview (interview apa? tak nak cerita for now) yesterday on my birthday! Haha. And guess what? I was late for an hour O_o

The thing was; I went out early for the interview at the city. But when I reached the city, apparently this place is not exactly known by many people. But strangers did try their best to help me. Well anyway, I called to let the interviewers know that I'd be late for about 30 minutes. And so I asked the driver to stop at the place that I wanted but no, I ended up stopping at City Hospital yang jauh giler tu. He actually forgotten to stop at the place that I wanted. So, he dropped me while at the traffic lights and exclaimed, "Oh it's not that far, it's just around the corner down there". Well, I ended up climbing hills for about 30 min.

Somehow, the experience of walking to an unknown destination made me feel like I was a contestant of The Amazing Race, haha. Stranger by stranger helped me to get to the manor that was supposed to be a place for my interview. Seriously, I was sweating by the time I got there and apologized deeply to the interviewers but of course, they were really understanding and nice. They even felt sorry that I have to walk so far. (Actually, bila aku first time kena pergi Portland Primary School bila jadi Student Associate pon aku jalan 1 jam sebab the bus that I wanted wasn't in service during that time. So yeah, I'm usually late on my 1st important meeting. Let's hope this would end.)

So, the interview...

The interviewers went inside the room which was so colourful and looked like a nursery (hint) and began asking questions about myself and my family. I talked about my siblings, Mira, Hani & Irfan; and that we all get along and became closer as we grow older. Most of my answers imply that I'm missing my family. I even told the 2 interviewers that I called Mak & Ayah the day before my birthday just to show them the funny blogpost that I wrote for the university. Then suddenly, one of the interviewers said...

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

And I'm like, "wah, terharunye". I gave them my bright side smile :)

So, the interview went well I think (except for the fact that it began an hour later than it was supposed to, hohoho). The interviewers even said, "We really appreciate that you're being very open with your answers". Well, that's what you get when I'm being me. They even asked, "Are you planning on doing anything today?". I replied jokingly,

"I'm hoping that my housemates are planning a surprise birthday party for me"
(Little did I know that this was going to happen later)

And then, we all laughed. When it was time to sign the application form, I wrote down the date as 3/11/1989. And the interviewer said, "Your mind is thinking about your birthday" and smiled while correcting the error for me. And then, she said, "Thank you for coming to the interview on your birthday".

So, that's the 1st part of my day.

The 2nd part was in the lab.

I'm not sure if you've ever experience it but when I was in the lab, I kept seeing all these bottles with the labels 3/11. It's just so weird for me. I'm like, that's my birth date, hey, that's my birth date again. And even when I wrote down the date on my lab book, it's just so weird. But thank Allah, I didn't have to spend so many hours in the lab on that day or I might go bonkers.

The 3rd part is the part that needs to be highlighted.

It's in my house. So, we planned to have an iftar with everyone in Dunkirk. And then, it was time for me to leave for my Arabic class. And I went to the kitchen and Hosni said "Lut" and Lutfi followed me to the kitchen. That's when I can tell something's going to happen. Hosni was talking to the attendees while I was cleaning my plate and Lut was hovering nearby. I actually thought that Lut was going to prevent me from going back to the living room so I decided to give it a try. In my mind, I was imagining the living room was going to be dark and when I went back to the living room, everyone would shout, "Happy Birthday". I know that this is so typical but I haven't had any experience of this typical surprise. Oh btw, I actually imagined there will be a cake coming from Akmal's room. Lol.

But this was what actually happened,

I went to the living room and Lut did not stop me. So, I'm like okay, so there won't be anyone hiding in the dark. Hosni stopped me and I knew it, a cake is going to pop up somewhere. Lut came along with a cake from the kitchen, hehe. And everyone began wishing me. And I'm like, finally, a proper birthday party...correction, a proper surprise birthday party. Although it wasn't perfectly executed, at least I appreciate the attempt.

The reason why I said "finally" (monolog dalaman) was because I like to compare my birthday party to others. By others, I meant my housemates. Like for this one housemate, someone actually made a cake for him, or for this housemate, he gets a cake during our dinner. It's good that no one saw my reaction when I saw these cakes on various occasions cause I was giving a how-come-I-didn't-get-one? look. After this, I can finally show my being-me look cause at least, I have had one ;)

photo courtesy of Syafiq Zaim

Siapa yang tak datang semalam, serious aku ingat :P

Siapa yang datang, serious aku ingat :)

Not that I'm complaining but I did get something else from the people I care and people who care which made all my birthdays special in different ways even until this day.

A gift from Cami =)

Thank you for all those tweets, FB posts, FB messages, text messages from Malaysia and UK (not forgetting, Ireland), gifts (thank you Cami!), the attempt to make a surprise on my birthday, and to everyone who attended. Guess what? Since I have a good memory, this is going to stay for a very long time. (Apip buat kuih seri muka yang best)

My mentor-mentee group did plan a surprise birthday party as well when I was in KMB and the funny thing was, they actually bought the same cake that I bought for my class. Lol.

And that was probably the last time I said "you made my night".

Now, I can probably say it once again, alhamdulillah, you made my night...

boom

2011-11-03T02:22:00.000Z

Hello,

I planned to write this one on the 2nd of Nov, not the 3rd. Oh well, I'm gonna write about BOOM Camp that we had last week anyway.

Ok, so we had an event that was initially a one day programme and we transformed it into a camp filled with fun and activities! With the theme "fun in the air", (this theme popped up into my head instantaneously when someone asked about it during the meeting) we were prepared to give our all despite the number of turnouts (which could be improved).

This is going to be a personal post so I hope that you won't feel bored, haha (I'm so sorry).

First, we had the activity called Leap of Faith. We had to climb up a platform which was 24 feet above the ground. In front of us, was a ball. The task - by having faith that we would not fall flat on the ground below or more appropriately, we believe that everything would be just fine, we had to hit the ball before experiencing free fall for a few minutes. Of course, it was all safe and secured but to have the courage to jump and tackle the ball, was truly a challenge to be overcome. And I just love adrenaline rush.

Gear up

Look at the view from above

And take that leap of faith

Afterwards, we had a session with Dr Al-Hady, a Specialist Registrar in the Emergency and Intensive Care Medicine. The talk was indubitably inspirational yet, the time allocated for the speaker was not adequate enough as the participants wanted to listen more to the stories from the doctor. By the way, it is important to note that I had the chance to hold a baby in my arms =) Maybe it's been a long time since I had the chance to do that. And people, remember that every events are planned and destined by Allah ^^

Moving on, we had BBQ and let me tell you, it was a feast that none will forget. In addition, from the feedback forms, ALL participants gave a rating of 5.0 whereby they agreed that "Makanan yang disediakan mencukupi" during the BBQ session.

Later at night, we had BOOM Workshop. It is really the true identity of BOOM. The famous workshops whereby participants would rotate in a cycle and go to different stations to learn about several different skills namely Communication Skills, Financial Management, Stress Management, Time Management and Study Skills. I would have joined along but I was too preoccupied with the event tomorrow. The participants gave good feedback for this workshop and even requested that the sessions would be made longer.

One of the "interactive" stations :P

And on the next day, we had The Amazing BOOM Race. Out of all the The Amazing Race wannabes out there, I have to say that this one was definitely a wannabe. Cause we had Detours and Roadblocks :D Even Speed Bump! I wish that the race would be made longer and with more physical activities..but I think for now, it was sufficient as an initial step. After all, this was an initiative, huhu.

The clues with Route Infos, Detours and Road Blocks

One of the Top 3 teams, congratulations!

The wonderful committee members, only Allah can repay all of you

Lastly, we had Time Portal. The concept was simple. It's like you're writing a letter to yourself in the future. Instead of putting the letters inside a time capsule and burying it somewhere, we decided to post the letters to the house of the participants. Oh yeah, to all of my friends that had received letters from me, you'd realized that most of my writings were written on coloured papers. And for these participants, they had the same opportunity as I am!

One thing about BOOM Camp is that I realized that it's so personal that I think I might have design it to be something that I would like. But the feedback's great! They loved it and I enjoyed it ;)

And we are from Nottingham (and Loughborough) :)

sorila Akmal gambar kau takde, huhu.

Well anyway, I hope the bond that we share will be blessed by Allah. I know, I wish it was longer than 2 days and I wish that we had more people but hey, I'm happy :)

And speaking of BOOM Camp, I just want to let you know that my blogpost for the Nottingham Advantage Award has been launched on the University of Nottingham's blog. I was laughing when I saw the blogpost. Seriously, sangat kelakar. Hahaha. Oh, tinggalkan la comment so that they would ask me to write more, huhu.

Oh, kaitannya dengan post ni? Well, I think it's important for us to dream high and to bloom out of mediocrity.

Why?

Simply because that's what Allah wants you to be...and I'm ready to be all I can be...

what's my name?

2011-10-28T00:36:00.000+01:00

I don't normally write a blogpost past my bedtime but this is an exception.

But when you think about it again, the previous post on this blog was written waaaay past my bedtime.

I told myself that I would write about my 3rd and final module for the Nottingham Advantage Award only after I have completed it and passed with flying colours. But I just have to write about it now cause I want to remember this day.

So after Maghrib, I went to my class at Trent Building (this is a classical style building that is a maze on its own) and waited for the tutor to come. Then, along came Thomas (my classmate) sat next to me and greeted me by my name, "Hey Wafi, you're alright?" And I was so touched that he remembered my name. We've only met for 2 times and never talked before this, huhu.

Oh yeah, one thing to note. Adlan Wafi doesn't really feel proud most of the times. He does have this feeling but he's trying to get rid of the feeling as best as his can. Usually, he will feel touched. In Malay, saya memang mudah terharu daripada rasa bangga. It's probably because I have this strong memory on sentimental events. Thus, my feelings are more channelled towards being touched rather than feeling boastful. And I always try to remind my brothers about the danger of vanity. It's not good being vain and all. It's just not cool.

And my friends would usually think that I'm proud that people remember my name but no, I'm touched. Sometimes, the feeling almost made me want to cry. And I tweeted this when Thomas greeted me this evening. But alhamdulillah, I remember his name. So yeah, I'm grateful that he's being friendly to me.

Ok, this is the revelation. I present to you my 3rd and final module for NAA:

Modern Standard Arabic

Level 1 Part 1

Okay, there are various reasons of why I didn't want to write about it on my blog. Some of the reasons include it's quite late for me to learn Arabic isn't it? I feel so inferior compared to others. And now, I'm just plain embarrassed that everyone who reads my blog knows that I'm just beginning to learn Arabic. Secondly, my friends who read my blog would now begin speaking Arabic to me where in actual fact, I have only learned a few words. So don't mock me, please. The reason why I go for this module is because I think it's about time that I start mastering this language.

And today, our tutor, Ahmed decided to ask us to write our names in Arabic. When it was my turn, he exclaimed, "Wafi, a couple of Arabic names. Which one did you go for?"

I was impressed at his capability to identify that my name was indeed Arabic. I mean, I have met several Muslim brothers and some of them even asked, "Is that an Islamic name?"

Lol!

So yeah, I was glad that he knew that my name was Arabic. I said, "I chose Wafi".

"Go ahead then"

"Wau alif fa ya"

"Do you know what it means?"

"I think I do. Is it loyal?"

"Yes, it is. It does have some shades of meaning"

Bila dengar perkataan "shades" ni, teringat "shades of grey", hehe.

And I decided to guess what the other meaning is cause I've been hearing this quite a lot from my friends.

"Does it also mean healer?"

"I have not heard about that one before"

Thanks lah Sudin and Izdihar Zuhdi!

Haha, sebab diorang selalu teka Wafi maksudnya "penyembuh".

"The other shade of meaning is sincere. So, it's loyal/sincere"

And I'm like okay, that could be my new blog name after denial/redemption :P

Sincere? How wonderful does that sound. I never knew that. I have always associate myself to the meaning that I have always known - loyal. MasyaAllah, it's an evening to remember ;)

So yeah, there's a lady by the name of Dina in my lab whom one day asked me about Eid Ul-Adha. I wasn't sure how she knew that I'm a Muslim but I guess she might know it from my name.

And so, that's when I learned about another meaning of my name in a class that starts in the evening on this rainy day.

On another note, I received a parcel today with my name written as "Adlan Wafi Shin". And I'm like O_o when did I become a Shin? Heh.

Back to my final module, the progress is quite slow. Well of course, the class is designed for beginners and I on the other hand am only capable in reading but lack the knowledge in semantics which is imperative in order to become proficient in a desired language.

Nevertheless, I'm going to persevere. It's late I know. But at least, it's a step. Plus, I learned about my name along the way...

how do you sleep?

2011-10-16T02:43:00.000+01:00

Time: 1:37 am, Nottingham

Tau tak? Tadi aku baring kat atas katil for 1 jam setengah but failed to fall asleep! I hate myself for this. Ok, I am really sensitive when it's time to close my eyes.

Case studies:

A. In my house in Shah Alam, my room is the only one that has these translucent windows attached on the walls thus, allowing light from the hall upstairs to pass inside my room. Ni tingkap yang kat belah dalam tau bukan untuk tengok luar. So, faham la apa yang jadikan? Bila nak tidur, aku akan keluar & tutup lampu regardless of who's using it. I would get irritated if someone left the light on for such a long time. Blood pressure meningkat bila tengok lampu menyala terang benderang. Grrrr...

B. In my house in Nottingham when I was in the first year, I learned about myself more when I discovered my human alarm clock. Yes, jam loceng manusia. His laughter can wake up the whole house. Or maybe, just me. His laughter approximates to a sound pressure level of 100 dB (remember, I'm being sarcastic here). It really ticked me off when I couldn't sleep at my bedtime. Cause it's going to affect the time that I'll be waking up tomorrow. I actually got up from my bed and went downstairs to give him an angry look which made him shut up for a while. Little did I know that this alarm clock goes off until this day.

C. 11.00pm - 12.30am, Saturday - Sunday, 15-16 October 2011. It was during this period of about 1.5 hours that I lay on my bed turning on the sounds of rain and thunder on my iPad (I even put on the auto-lock thinking that I'd fall asleep after the sound is over but Nooooo) trying to sort of neutralize the laughter that seemed endless coming from downstairs. Argh! Geram...Well, you're reading this post right? So yeah, obviously aku tak dapat tidur.

My senses can be very sensitive when it's time for me to fall asleep. And apparently, people don't get that. They think I can fall asleep easily. Haish..I know that you need to have a speck of light when you're sleeping and I know that you wake up easily if the duvet is pulled away from you and I know that you cannot even wake up even if 3 types of alarm are turned on: the chicken sound, the Indian beat & the Sony Ericsson alarm.

Dear readers, the message from this blog post is - Be considerate.

Yes, I don't think people should be making noise if it's close to midnight. (This includes you, jiran sebelah rumah yang buat party last week!) We need to think about others. That person might want to go jogging early in the morning tomorrow (Ye, saya nak joging esok tapi tak jadi kot sebab sekarang dah pukul 2.19 am). Apart from that, I should not be selfish thinking sleep is so important for myself. For all I know, they could be discussing on ways to save the world. Well, sacrificing a good night's sleep for the betterment of the world sounds reasonable enough for me. (Although I'd be cranky about it :P)

Which brings me to another point - Think good of others.

I'm not perfect, but I'm trying my best to do this ;)

So, I've sort of thought of ways to overcome my sensitivity in trying to fall asleep. I could buy earplugs as suggested by Andi Rizal. I could also get up from my bed after the first 40 minutes of terbaring dalam keadaan tak tenang and do something fruitful instead of lying for another 50 minutes pastu bangun jugak. Lol. And last but not least, aku rasa aku nak buat sleepover kat rumah orang kat Dunkirk the next time aku dengar orang gelak kat rumah ni. Boleh tak? Boleh tak? Please, please.

Okay, that's all for now. Maybe lepas ni boleh tidur kot. But before that, aku nak vacuum satu rumah so that diorang pulak yang terbangun. Okay, kidding. I'm not that evil. I hope you enjoy this funny post. Cause I was laughing the whole way. And I myself, need to be more cosiderate and think good of others...

dream on

2011-09-27T09:46:00.003+01:00

So, here I am in Nottingham, in my new room. It's cold~

And this is my new blog name: denial/redemption (DR).

Cause in some ways, DR helped me to get through most of the dramatic events whilst in the UK. And the name reflects whatever that has happened in the past 2 years or even before that.

Anyway, I'm in my 3rd year now. You know what that means..a whole lot of drama with new twists and surprises.

Firstly, look at my exam dates between the 1st and 3rd year:

Year 1: this is a typical timetable for most universities (look at the reds)

Year 3: Look at the butterflies!

The cool thing is, the exams are distributed over the academic year instead of cramming it into one duration like during Sem 4 which was the worst exam experience ever in my life. I'm so grateful to make it through last semester. Having all of these dates means I'm going to rock and roll sooner than you think and more than you expect. So you see that this is actually one of the many hardships of Medicine.

I actually went to the introduction lecture for the 1st year Medics yesterday, just to hear the words from Prof Lowe. It's very inspiring really. Reminding me of the times when I was one of the freshers 2 years ago.

But what I want to highlight is something that Dr Burr said during the lecture. He said that although we are all brainy, most of us will be average and that's something that we're not really used to. And that's going to be difficult for some people.

Well, Dr Burr didn't tell me this when I came to Nottingham in 2009 :P

Cause that's what I am right now, average. But my dreams are high. Really high. Sometimes I wonder why I dream so high when eventually, I'd end up upsetting myself when I can't reach it.

Because Wafi, that is what Allah wants you to do. He wants you to dream big and He doesn't expect you to become a mediocre. I have to bloom out of mediocrity (BOOM).

Tetiba ada iklan. But the point is, we need to aim high. Kalau kita nak masuk syurga pon, kita kena aim masuk syurga firdaus kan? ;)

And 3rd year is the year to make it or break it. Duhh, I prefer to make it, insyaAllah.

It's truly going to be one heck of a ride.

This time around, I'm bringing Wafi back...

shut up and drive

2011-09-14T04:17:00.001+01:00

I'm leaving Malaysia today and this year, I drove a lot more than I did last year. Probably because I have a car to myself for this whole summer, ihik2. Anyway, I actually just found out the reality of driving in Malaysia. It's distressing!

You know, I really enjoy adrenaline rush..like when I go down the large slide in Leicester or run against the wind in Nottingham. But the adrenaline rush that I'd usually get when I'm driving on Malaysian road is different. It's the bad kind. It's like you're trying to survive a disaster. And here are some of the characters that I would usually find on the road.

The immortalized motorcyclist

There was only one encounter - I was moving into the fast lane when suddenly, this motorcyclist appeared at the right side of my car. It's clear that this motorcyclist was accelerating as I have made sure that it was really safe before moving into the lane. So, I let him pass since he was immortal and there's no need to drive with him side by side as if we're a couple. He went past me and the funny thing is, he actually turned his head around to face me. Too bad I didn't have a camera installed at the front of my car; I would have displayed his face on my blog or on Facebook. He was giving me a look that said something like "Don't you know I'm immortal?". My response: "Dude, I know. That's why I let you passed." In Australia, motorcyclist deaths are approximately 30 times more than drivers of other vehicles. In Malaysia, this motorcyclist believes 30 times more than other motorcyclists that he is immortal.

The lane keeper

This is a normal character on the highway. If you haven't meet them, you need to drive more :P

There was one time when I looked at the lane on my right during a traffic congestion. There was a gap of about 3 cars next to me and the cars on that lane was moving slowly. I said to myself, let's perform an experiment.

Research question: Is the driver on the right lane a typical lane keeper?

Hypothesis: Adlan Wafi believes the driver is a lane keeper and would not allow him to get into the fast lane. In addition, he believes the driver would accelerate as if he was on an assassination mission.

A normal driver would definitely let me get into the lane. And so this is what happened as the experiment was preformed..

I gave a signal and moved into the lane on the right and the car behind (the person being tested) accelerated as if he needed to go to the nearest toilet or he'll wet his car seat. In addition, he honked his car furiously. Hypothesis proven and experiment was successful. I only smiled when he honked. Yelah, takkan nak mencarut kot. That is so not cool. I'm just a bit disappointed with his behaviour.

The hired assassin

Did you know? I actually met a lot of these assassins on the road. There was one day where I think it would have been a total massacre if I had not use the horn.

These assassins originate from the slow lane or the middle lane. They attempt murder by driving so fast and close to their victim on the fast lane, forcing the victim to slow down his/her car and let the assassins get in front of them. Of course, the victim who did not survive this technique might be unfortunate enough to suffer an accident, naudzubillah.

So yeah, when I was driving in Malaysia, I didn't use the horn that much as I find them offensive. But when I finally discovered these assassins. I just have to use it for my survival.

You see, when you horn the honk at these assassins, they would finally realize that killing is wrong. They would stop from trying to get into your lane and stay on their own lane. They would probably go and see those who hired them to return the money. Honestly, there was one day where everyone was out to get me.

The telepathic lane stealer

These characters are everywhere! At first, I thought their signal lights were broken or they're trying to reduce the consumption of their car batteries but no, that can't be it. They must be telepaths.

Let me read your mind! (Source)

These telepaths; I envy them. They can move into any lanes that they want without illuminating their signal lights. All they have to do is to use their ability by getting into the head of the drivers on the other lanes and said something like, "Hey, I wanna go into your lane". And they go into their lanes without any signal lights. However, they forgot that most drivers (like me) wear those head protectors like Magneto. Telepaths can't get into our minds silly. You need to use the signal lights like normal people. My heart skips a beat when these telepathic lane stealers are on the road.

And that's reality.

You might think it's easy actually. I can just turn into any of these 4 characters any other day and survive the treacherous roads of Malaysia. Be them and live!

But I beg to differ. I choose to be myself.

Be who you are and not what others are forcing you to be (provided that these other people are not portraying good qualities)

You see, when Rasulullah was trying to touch the hearts of others, he didn't fight fire with fire. Let the people throw anything bad that you could ever imagine upon him but no, he didn't throw it back to them. He was a man who displayed good traits; qudwah hasanah. Rasulullah was being himself.

And that's what I believe. I believe in portraying good qualities which I hope others would be inspired to follow. I believe that the act of illuminating signal lights and giving way to people on the road may be a small step for the drivers of Malaysia to actually do the same thing.

I believe that small good deeds may be minimal in the eyes of men, but they are noteworthy for Allah.

Be the change that you want to see in Malaysia.

It starts from an individual. It starts from you.

And this is the importance of being me...

make me smile

2011-08-26T16:17:00.003+01:00

This post contains stories relating to Ramadhan that I would like to remember...

What does this mean? Well, the artist left it as it is, without completing the colouring part; as it is up to us to colour our Ramadhan :)

Story 1

It was during JOM when I was under a lot of stress when Ashraf Zakwan came along, sat next to me and began taking out a piece of paper. He started drawing cartoons and used some coloured pens to make it look cool. I smiled the moment I saw what it was - a self-made Ramadhan greeting card.

This cartoon actually motivates me to have my sahur, ihik2

Plus, I got to keep it! That made me feel less stressful and certainly made my day :)

Story 2

Akhirnya, dapat jugak pergi ke rumah Cik Manggis yang popular. Getting to know my friend's family sure was delightful. Cik Manggis sediakan sangat banyak makanan, tapi sayangnya tak mampu nak makan banyak (memang kurang makan waktu bulan Ramadhan tapi kalau bulan lain, memang banyak. Haha). Sangat sedap! (Sup & ayam especially) Teringat waktu kat Manchester bila Kak Tiqah prepare nasi ayam untuk makan malam. Mesti resipi turun-temurun keluarga. Sebelum balik, dapat pulak hadiah dari Cik Manggis. Rasa sangat excited dan terharu, huhu. I surely won't forget that day :)

Story 3

Tatkala sedang berada dalam kereta, terdengar komen seorang ustaz tentang keadaan fizikal orang yang berpuasa. Menurut ustaz, sudah tentu orang yang berpuasa akan berasa letih. Itu fitrah, badan berasa letih apabila tak makan. Apa yang kuat waktu Ramadhan ialah roh kita. Then, I suddenly remembered a friend who told me that there was once a man who said that fasting reduces productivity. Well, of course. If you define productivity as something merely physical or tangible; that could be true. But, if you define it as the aftermath of Ramadhan, well that's a whole new perspective isn't it? A month of training. A month of patience. A month of enlightenment. If we don't achieve anything by the eve of Syawal, wouldn't that be a waste? Let's reflect ourselves while there's still a few days left. So that when Syawal arrives, we'd be happy for trying our best in the month of Ramadhan :)

These are just a collection of my life stories which I would like to remember as I progress through this temporary world. I share them with you hoping that they would be worthwhile.

But mostly, I share them with you cause they make me smile...

stickwitu

2011-08-25T04:51:00.004+01:00

And here comes another post, a personal one. Yeah, what do you expect? After all, this blog is called being me.

In my life, I have always told myself to be strong. Being a single child for the first 5 years probably has given an impact onto my personality. And being the only boy in the family (until Irfan came along) made me grow closer to my brothers.

I tend to become attached with people whom I've grown fond of and it is depressing when the time comes to say goodbye. You could probably tell from the sentimental intensity that was portrayed through the posts that I wrote during the KMB/Nottingham transition and even when I'm in the UK after several months.

It's difficult really when I had known someone for a very long time and then I wished he could be with me so I can spent more time with him. But of course, this rarely happens.

I kept telling myself that when I become a doctor, I might become attached to my patients which I instantaneously hope that I won't. It's because of who I really am, someone who can really get attached to the people that I encountered in my life. That's why I once made a statement (not sure where) before I fly to the UK that sounds a bit like this:

"Don't think I would ever let you into my life that easy"

I was directing that statement to anyone that I would meet after my departure. Well, that didn't happen right, Adlan? And I'm glad it didn't. Cause now, I have lots of people who care and people I care. And that is sweet!

What I'll tell myself right now is to become firmer next year (3rd year). Regardless of which path they took, it's all destined by Allah and I have to accept it. Sure, I will be lying on my bed when I get upset but I need to get up promptly cause there are more things to be done. Even if I won't be meeting them that much, I just need to remember that in this world, everything is temporary and Allah is there for me, always~

This post is actually featured on my bloglist and I highly recommend that you read it especially if you're like me. Like the author, I too...am attached to emotions, to memories, to people. My attachment was probably heightened with my unexplained capability to reminisce past events in life. Alhamdulillah, I'm really grateful for this gift.

I need to remember that even if I won't be meeting them that much, I can always pray for them and if we were not destined to meet again in this world, then insyaAllah, we would meet in jannah. Isn't that the place we all are hoping to go to eternally?

Attachment.

It is who I am.

I will still become attached to some people.

But the transcendent attachment would be towards none other than Allah...

speak now

2011-08-24T13:22:00.006+01:00

Hello, sorry for not updating for a very long time. It's obvious isn't it? My blog remains dormant when I'm busy...and let me tell you, I was busy even until now but one of my jobs is about to end, insyaAllah. So yeah, I'm gonna write more posts now.

This is another flashback ;)

It's interesting really. In my life, I have always considered myself to be an extrovert. But several things in the past (whilst in the UK mostly) had proven me wrong. Deep down inside, I'm an introvert. An introvert trying to be an extrovert.

Yeah, when I was younger, probably in high school, there was one time when we had to go to an open house of my aunt in Shah Alam during Raya. And when we're there, me, my siblings and a cousin of mine went upstairs and stayed there most of the time. My cousin even said to some of the children who went upstaris, "Eh apa naik atas ni? Turun2". I was laughing at that time and told my Mum about it. Her reply:

"Korang ni memang...keturunan antisocial"

LOL

Haha, I guess she was right, huh? And when in the UK, well, when I'm around people, I tend to be quiet. It's hard really and people would judge me as someone who don't mix around with people when in fact I was naturally this way. Of course, during the high school days, I never really knew about this trait of mine. Time after time, I became the president, the committee member of numerous societies, student representatives, project managers...I was even a president of a sports club (yeah, tell me about it :P) and I also became a public speaker, a storyteller, an actor in a musical, a player in a national quiz (with those cool buzzers), never became a debater to represent my school though (a common misconception among my friends, the only debate that I have participated is the one in KMB during Economics and my class rocks! Despite the fact we didn't get 1st place), nasheed, choir, a commandant...well I can continue writing them down but the point is, I surprise myself if I had known all along that I was an introvert.

There were also various occasions in Nottingham where I would hide myself in my room when there would be lots of people in the living room. Well, I hid lots of times actually, heh. I even tweeted sometimes hoping that I would feel better telling my friend that I'm uncomfortable during that time.

I find it hard to talk to people at times. And only after several encounters would I be able to converse normally. My close friends know all along that I'm really shy and quiet. But I would not describe myself that way, haha. It was during one time when I finally figured out who I really am when I blurted out a statement during a secret meeting of the Upper East Siders as a response to how our trip had been in Turkey. I told him to read my blog when I publish the post (but tak publish lagi kan? :P) as "I am more expressive in my writing than in my speech". That hit me. That's who I really am. No wonder I've been struggling this whole time.

And then I got a wall post on FB from Kakak Nana:

Well, that wall post just made me smile. True, I don't really talk much. So, I'm probably not good at generating conversations. But at least, I'm improving. I made my nenek smile :)

And so, that's what I'll continue to do. Please pray that this shy little boy would become more unreserved. Cause he doesn't want people to think he's antisocial. He's just trying to be more open.

Rasulullah himself was a very shy man but he managed to become the most influential man in history as well as becoming the rahmat for the whole universe (Rahmatul Lil Alamin, 21:107). That is coolness!

And I, Adlan Wafi am trying to grow out of my shell...

fighting temptation

2011-06-24T14:17:00.002+01:00

It doesn't relate to the post, but I just love this luminarium ^^

So, here I am right now...back to the field of reality for a few months.

This morning, I heard something really interesting from Dato' Fadzilah Kamsah on MHI. I always like watching MHI in Malaysia. I watched it on the day of the release of my SPM result, during Christmas and on the days of summer last year just so that I can get some updates on what is going on in this country. Anyway, he said that we should always pray that we will not have the opportunities to do any sins. It's because, when we are surrounded by these opportunities, it is feared that we might not be able to resist the temptation of doing them.

True enough isn't it? Let me elucidate further by using myself as an example.

As an environmentalist, I always try my best to recycle the wastes that I created; be it the receipts from the purchase of ZARA jackets or even the box used to pack my Neuroanatomy colouring book from Amazon. It really is easy to recycle in the UK where the recycling bins are readily accessible. The ones around Dunkirk allowed me to recycle almost any recyclable wastes. But then, it was closed indefinitely. That's alright..cause I still can recycle at the medical school.

But here in Malaysia, I can assure you that I could not even find a recycling bin in a radius of 500 m from where I'm typing this blogpost right now. The one place I know would require me to drive for about 5-10 min in order for me to fulfil my so called "environmentalist" purpose. Looking at my rubbish bin, I can see several ounces of paper wastes which I could easily recycle if I were in Nottingham.

The point is, it's easy isn't it for me to recycle when all these recycling bins are around me? But when they're not, I can easily turn into a waste-producing monster.

Ajr like sins..your likelihood of obtaining them depends on what you surround yourself with. If you always be in a group of friends whom remind you of Allah 24/7, then insyaAllah, you'd be safe and sound. But if you surround yourself in an environment that can easily tempt you into committing actions that can lead to Allah's wrath, then you might do yourself a good deal by staying away from the opportunities.

And this summer, well let's just say I have several projects in my head (including medical, saving the world stuff), books to be read, tasks to be achieved and so much more. They do seem mountainous at the time but I hope the progress would be smooth insyaAllah.

So let's pray shall we that Allah will close the opportunities for us to commit any sins...

...cause we might not be able to resist them and give in to temptation, naudzubillahi mindzalik...

to sir, with love

2011-06-09T20:15:00.004+01:00

Hello everyone, long time no see eh?

Just want to let you know that I am now in my first 2 weeks as a 3rd Year Medical student at The University of Nottingham. And yesterday, I completed my Student Associates Scheme...it was my last day at Portland Primary School in Bilborough.

The day began with me playing with the children outside as they learn how to perform long jumps. Out of the blue, the mild weather outside turned into a heavy downpour and the children screamed with excitement. I can't help smiling whilst looking at their expressions. My favourite student (I can't name him but you'll see who I'm referring to) played with my wet hair and gave me a new hairstyle.

Inside the class, it was finally time for me to say goodbye to the children...but little did I know that I would be getting a surprise from them:

And this came along with a card from the teacher and Cadbury Heroes :')

And these are my 26 students...

He really behaved when he found out I was leaving.

He's good in Maths.

Another boy who's good in Maths. We played during PE on my last day.

He can be naughty and nice at times. But most of the time, he's just a good boy.

He's a cute boy and filled with curiosity.

She's very quiet and shy most of the time.

He was the very first student that I met on my first day going to class.

She called me Mr Ravioli on my first day, hahaha.

He's a little boy with an amazing smile.

He can be really difficult sometimes. But he really just wanted some attention.

He wanted me to keep going to the school but I really can't. Huhu.

And I present to you my favourite student! He has beautiful hair and was really, really cute. We kept spending time together during lessons.

She is really smart and well-behaved. Her best friend is the one below.

Very intelligent young lady. You can see that she and her bestfriend wrote the same thing. Hahaha.

She was quite sad that I would be leaving.

I worked with her during Maths most of the time. She has improved through time, alhamdulillah.

He's just such a cute boy and loves football.

And I just love this boy's hairstyle.

A sweet little girl who loves saying "Hi!" to me.

Was one of the difficult children in class whom eventually turned out to be a kind young lady.

He's the new student in class. And he hugged me twice on my last day, huhu.

She just loves my attention.

A soft-spoken and very quiet young lady.

There are only 23 dedications since the other 3 weren't around on that day.

Well, I have to say that I am very grateful for having the chance to meet these children in my life. In my farewell speech, I said to them that they are like caterpillars. They will one day become butterflies...grow their own wings to fly and have their own colours. And I gave them all lollipops and origami butterflies =)

I was delighted to see that the children were really excited to get those butterflies.

Before school ended, I was asked to read a story to them. I'm not going to talk about that cause I find it hard to pronounce certain words in the story, hahaha.

Being a Student Associate really made me appreciate my teachers more. I developed new skills e.g. administrative, communication, time management (especially during the dreadful Sem 4 in Nottingham) and the joy of meeting these lovely children whilst undergoing the hardships of medical school.

And I walked them out to the school exit for one last time...and I thank Allah for letting them to be a part of my life...

butterfly fly away

2011-05-15T13:43:00.001+01:00

I have a bestfriend...about 2 years ago, he made lots and lots of butterflies out of many coloured papers when IB exam was around the corner.

And then, he asked me what to do with so many of those paper-coloured butterflies; I said give them to your friends, colour up their lives.

And I got one butterfly; red in colour, which I happily wore the whole time on that one special day where you get to meet your teachers and friends before the dreadful exam. Sadly, the butterfly which I put on my green Pierre Cardin shirt went missing whilst I was in the hall on that fateful day. I was slightly upset about that but then again, it's not about the butterfly that made me upset. It's the fact that I have lost something sentimental which my friend had given to me.

Two years have passed, and here I am, trying to be strong with all the dramatic events that life can offer. And even though I may have lost the butterfly, at the very least, I still have him as my friend. (~~although I don't get to see him that much and even when we're in the same place, we would not have much time to spend together with...we're very busy people~~)

Anyway, this post is not for him, it's for you.

Yes, you :)

So, exam is just around the corner. And I made a butterfly for you. Why? In the hope of trying to make your day. Cause I love trying to make someone's day. That's my hobby which I have developed since KMB. And that butterfly? It's the exact same type which my bestfriend had given to the lucky people of KMB. And since then, butterflies have always been special to me. Anyway, I wish you all the best. After all, who knows what the future holds? Only Allah knows what is destined for us. But at the very least, we need to ensure that we have given our very best. At the very least, I knew that I've tried my best~

"Do your best and let Allah do the rest ;)"

Caterpillar in the tree

How you wonder who you'll be

Can't go far but you can always dream;

Wish you may and wish you might

Don't you worry, hold on tight

I promise you there will come a day, insyaAllah biiznillah...

didn't we almost have it all

2011-05-03T15:42:00.006+01:00

And so the result is out:

So I walked home quickly to see if I got a reply from Dr D and it seems that he emailed everyone saying that the result was out - and I got no. 3!

Well okay, I've already gotten MIA (Molecular Immunology and Autoimmunity) for this semester so maybe it's time for someone else to get their 1st choice(s). You can't get everything that you want in life.

I wonder why do I always go for the popular ones..

"This year the percentage of students awarded their first or second choice of homebase (71%) fell from the previous year (85%)."

Yeah, I'm one of the 29%.

"This was probably a consequence of a substantial rise in the numbers placing Psychiatry as their first choice (68, up from 33 last year)."

And again, I'm one of the 68 from 270 (25.19%) medical students who opted for this homebase. Apparently, Psychiatry is the hot stuff for this year.

2 statistical figures directed at me :P

Ok, so I wouldn't be meeting Dr T or Dr T. I guess I'd be seeing Dr X (X means unknown).

Haha, my Top 5 had always been a plan. Put only those with less than 20 spots and think of the ones which people are least likely to go for and arrange them.

So there'll be no cakes for me then. But the reason why I put the 3 MOL (Molecular Medical Sciences: Immunology, Microbiology & Molecular and Cellular Pathology) in the middle is because I know that there will be Ms JP and she consistently gets credit for her efficiency. And plus MOL is one of the homebases which you do not have to read a lot during summer. And it's 5000 words of report only. And out of the 3, Microbiology is the one (according to my research prior to the selection) that recorded the highest mark for its modules; I put it as no. 3 instead of 2 cause I like Immunology more - I have passion for those Y-shaped thingies! Last but not least, I still have a chance to see Dr T and even Dr M-P, my tutor if I get the taught course III!

All is well! Even though I'm one of the few who didn't get my Top 2...(tu sebab kena keluarkan result awal-awal, haish)

Lagipun, bukan kita kena berazam untuk jadi golongan yang sedikit ke? (smile, smile, wink, wink) That may not be relevant, but you get the point right? ;)

Haha. Ok, I guess that's enough. I have 100+ lectures to be read. And it's sad to say goodbye to MIA..reminds me of the time when I said goodbye to BHS (Behavioural Sciences) last year. lol

Thank you Allah. I believe this is a better plan for me (^^,)

Bring on Microbiology for Sem 5! InsyaAllah, biiznillah...

the reason

2011-04-01T08:08:00.002+01:00

I have always wanted to write this post...and a tweet a few days ago probably initiated an urge to write this concealed recollection of the days in Jasin.

Mind you, this is a very personal reflection of me. I have been saving this story from being published on this blog for a very long time.

Well, I'm not gonna tell the full story cause I prefer to keep it recondite. But during the month of May 2005, I was in one of the most significant events of my life. And I had to endure an obstruction whilst the other students of Jasin were undertaking the first semester examination. Yeah, I didn't manage to reach the finish line with the others. I was taken back to Shah Alam with 4 subjects left to be completed - Pendidikan Islam, Chemistry (couldn't remember the other 2). So basically, my CGPA was incomplete. Yet, it was sufficient for me to apply for a post in the BWP (Badan Wakil Pelajar) - the Student Council.

So I took the form and several processes later, I ended up at the final stage - the campaign, the manifesto, the election.

I reminded myself. I was competing with an unfinished CGPA. And it was during that one morning in the dormitory when I began pondering about my decision as to whether or not I should take the offer given by my parents - They have made it clear that they would be delighted to take me home and it's just me who needed to make the decision to withdraw from MRSM Jasin. As I showered myself with the cold water, I finally came up with a solution. I said to myself, that if I win and become one of the BWP members, I shall stay. Because at that time, I just couldn't seem to find a purpose to continue my studies there. I needed a reason to stay.

(Not in the picture - Abdul Haq. I'd call this an irony, huhu)

Alhamdulillah, I was one of the 14 members of BWP and I was grateful for everything that happened afterwards :)

So, that was it. Thinking back what had happened, it was quite funny on how things turned out to be. Staying in Jasin allowed me to learn more about Islam. Although not to the level that I was presented with at KMB (smile, smile, wink, wink ^^,) ; it was perhaps the initial step which have made me who I am today.

But now, I'm aware that there is a bigger responsibility. And I reminded someone a few days ago which in turn, is a reminder for me as well:

"...sbb sgt penting niat kita dlm tiap2 sesuatu. and kalau niat kte betul and ikhlas, insyaAllah kte akan diredhaiNya..."

Sunday, 27th March 2011, 10.10pm

Cause we had the AGM (Annual Grand Meeting) for NMS (Nottingham Malaysian Society) a few days ago. And it did make me recall some things in the past.

And with that adlan wafi, don't forget the reason...

blackbird

2011-03-21T22:24:00.002Z

Let's go back to Nottingham.

So basically, the 2nd Year Medics of Nottingham were given a week - from 1200 on Tue, 15th March 2011 till tomorrow, Tue, 22nd March 2011 at 1200 to make the top 5 choices of what we will be doing in Semester 5.

And of course, it's painstakingly difficult for some to settle on their final decision. I for one have changed the ranks numerously.

But whatever it is, if there's a homebase which is really popular and it is something that I really want, I won't simply give in to others. Yeap, I'm not giving up. I would fight for it.

So, my advice to you are pick and choose.

Then, pray and light up your night.

And, let Allah decides.

Cause you just don't know what the future holds but at the very least; you know that you have tried...

when i look at you

2011-03-14T23:37:00.003Z

I think the title explains my life in the previous week.

Monday.

It was the day where I went to Portland Primary School and got to see the children once again. It was still kinda hard for me to build rapport with them since I haven't even completed half of my required commitments - They probably have not wholly accepted me as a member of their class. Even so, when we went to the music room and the children started singing; it was the time when a connection was made. I can tell it was their favourite song as I looked at how exuberant they seemed at that time. I looked at one particular child which presumably has grown fond of me and as I looked him in the eye, he smiled like there's no tomorrow. And I just smiled at him back and that was one of the best moments you could ever encountered with a child :)

Thursday.

It was possibly the windiest day so far in my 2nd year in the UK. And I for one am delighted whenever cool, invigorating winds breezed through the land of Nottingham. The temperature was just nice at that time, not too cold to make me shiver but perfectly suited to make anyone who went out on that day to praise Allah for His Magnificence. As I walked to QMC for my CLS class, along came a figure treading along the path underneath the grey dull concrete structure where vehicles would usually chase each other. He might not recognize me from that distance but I was certain of whom I was seeing. And I just kept smiling at the time until we bumped into each other..cause I haven't seen him for quite a while. It was just perfect; it was windy and I was simply happy :)

Sunday.

It was the day filled with unexpectations. I did not know that I'll be meeting you, you or you. And truly, I am thankful for going there. And to you, yeah me too. I'm happy just by looking at you :)

Hadith.

It was many weeks ago when I heard this hadith for the first time. And the effect is still eminent.

The Messenger (salallahu alaihi wasallam) said,

“When the inhabitants of Paradise enter Paradise, Allah will say to them, ‘Do you want Me to give you anything more?’ They will reply, ‘Have You not made our faces bright? Have You not brought us into Paradise and moved us from Hell?’ Allah will then remove the Veil and they will feel that they have not been awarded anything dearer to them than looking at their Lord.”

[Sahih Muslim]

I get goose bumps when I have a read :)

And I also think it is sweet...

i can

2011-02-02T18:40:00.000Z

Hiya! You're alright?

Well, I'm currently in the 2nd week of Sem 4 and the workloads just keep coming in. So basically, I did get to know the modules of this semester and they are freakingly exciting! Guess what? There's still another module to be introduced tomorrow. Sweet! (I know I sound like a kid in candy store and I do know that some people just couldn't stand when other people are happy because they are suffering from some kind of congenital depression. Poor sad people ;P)

But I'm not going to comment about my modules (well, at least not for now). Instead, I'm going to let you know about my 2nd module for the Nottingham Advantage Award (I'm so active this semester, I wonder why). The module is:

Source: NUSA

NUSA: Insight into Education

If you realize something, both of my modules are closely related to teaching. I don't know, I probably miss school..probably miss my teachers. And I actually went to J Club 7's blog just to read some of the silly stuff that we actually wrote and published on blogspot.

So anyway, NUSA stands for Nottingham University Samworth Academy and it was opened in 2009. It's a school basically and also one of the first in the UK to have "direct sponsorship and academic links with a University" (Source: The University of Nottingham). In this case, they have links with my university =)

At first, I thought it would be similar to Student Associate Scheme. After attending the 1st session today, I guess it would be so much different. If a Student Associate would work with cute, adorable children in a classroom; a volunteer for NUSA will work with the staffs of the Academy - the teachers :O

And you know how it is going to be assessed? Yes, just because it's volunteering work, doesn't mean I'm not going to be assessed :P

At the end of March, there will be a presentation. COOL! You know, I have always enjoyed doing presentations. You can ask anyone of the J Club 7 (M07J) as you can actually see me glowing whenever it's time for presentation. Being a presenter is fun cause you're trying to engage yourself with the audience and make them interested with what you're talking about.

Oooooh, but that's not all. Do you know what it means to be a volunteer in this module? This would be the best part - I would be conducting a research!!! Best gilerrrrr!

That's why I tweeted: "x menyesal ambik module ni, alhamdulillah :D"

And as a researcher, we were given 4 types of research to choose from. Well, I would have to discuss this with some people. (Lutfi, sat lagi aku datang rumah kau. Haq, get ready jugak. Syakir, I'll see you in your room) And I might want to ask my seniors as well cause I'm going to do a research anyway next semester for Medical Sciences.

Probably because the types of research were interesting so that's why I seemed to be in a very bubbly mood, hihi.

Well, that's all for now. I'd better focus on my FBN (Functional Behavioural Neuroscience); the module with the potential of becoming a favourite.

With that, I'll end this post with the attitude which is being promoted to all the students of NUSA - "i-Can"

Source: NUSA

And I know I can, insyaAllah...

something to look forward to

2011-01-23T13:13:00.003Z

And so it's the end of Sem 3. And during the exam period, some of the things that I planned to do when it's all over were:

"I'm gonna eat ice-cream, one tub of ice-cream, probably strawberry cheesecake"

"I'm going to have a duck dish for my dinner"

"I'm gonna runaway without telling anybody (well, except someone or some people. but not the ones in my house)"

"I'm gonna make my day by myself :)"

And so, that's what happened. Running away is fun. It's doing something impulsive. It's something that an adventurous person would do. So, I ran away to Leicester yesterday and I actually wore the exact same attire - the Nike and Nottie; the Jacket and Hoodie. Hehe.

The first stop in Leicester was Subway! And for dinner, I had Nando's. Truth be told, one of the reasons why I chose Nottingham is because I thought there would be halal Subway and Nando's restaurants at some corner. Apparently, not. I guess I made the wrong choice (ok, kidding ;P). I don't think it would have change my decision even if I found out about this earlier. Btw, yeah, I love jalan-jalan cari makan. And I don't mind going to a certain place just to have a meal; but it must be something that I look forward to. I don't want to go somewhere far just to eat a plain burger.

And let's see what else is great in Leicester? Well, duhh! It's the famous slide!! Ok, maybe it's not that famous as some of the Leicesterians have not even tried it. Try la korang! And it was actually Syamil's first time riding it. And I went on it for 3 times ;)

Plus, there's one article which I read about a boy who went out with his father in Leicester, and when asked about what is the best thing about the day? He replied, "The big slide."

And the feeling...it's like a rush of adrenaline.

And it was a great day, alhamdulillah. Got to meet some friends, tried making their day as well, hihi.

(I wanted to upload a picture of the slide from my W995 but something's wrong with it)

So, that was it. Anyway, I told my plans like I want to eat ice-cream after ending my exam to Lut and Bear. Yes, Bear as in this one:

picture courtesy of Animal Planet

They said I can always have the ice-cream during the exam. So I said, that's true but I need something to look forward to, something to keep me going. This is because I was probably influenced by that Reader's Digest article - the one entitled "25 Ways to Be Happy" and yeah, I've featured it already on this post. And then it struck me while I was browsing the ice-cream catalogue at a local supermarket - "Something to look forward to..."

What do you look forward to in your life, Adlan?

Heaven?

You betcha!

So Adlan, if you can look forward to attaining Jannah, shouldn't that be motivating enough to keep you moving on throughout your life?

Indeed, that is something to look forward to...

turn my swag on

2010-12-31T12:31:00.002Z

This semester...

It's just the same really.

The time provided is exactly the same.

I had 2 weeks last year and so is this year.

The number of modules are reduced from 5 to 3.

The number of credits are lesser, 40 compared to 50 in the 1st semester.

Perhaps, the level is higher.

Perhaps, the modules are much harder.

Perhaps, I'm freaking out as time is running out.

And I should probably turn my swag on.

i'm chasing the rainbow...

adlan wafi, you've already met some morale boosters over the weekend.

and Allah told you that he will always be there.

this feeling is natural, so just face it bravely.

and let's stay here for the next 4 years shall we...

andalusia

2010-12-31T11:01:00.000Z

Cuak, cuak, cuak. Exam's coming and I'm publishing a post O_o

Firstly, I planned not to write that much cause my ASN, SF and REN are in dire need of being read. So, I'll just write as simple as I can.

Andalus, Spain

Adlan - Hosni - Syahmi - Ameer - Fikri - Ahmed - Syahir - Syamil - Adib

17-22 Dec 2010

Day 1, Gibraltar

Since the Leicesterians haven't arrived yet, we chose Gibraltar as our first stop.

Europa Point, Jabal Tariq (Gibraltar Rock), Tariq bin Ziyad, the southernmost mosque in Continental Europe, the day I learned to start using my DSLR extensively and how I wish I could go to Morocco!

Day 2, Granada

We went to the Granada Mosque, watched Alhambra from afar at night and had dinner at a restaurant where we met a brother from Morocco (lupe nak mintak nombor, hehe) and a lovely mak cik that allows us to have milkshakes included in our meals.

Oh yeah, we picked up the Leicesterians from Malaga Airport and headed straight to Granada afterwards. By the way, if you looked at the design featured in the Granada Mosque, you will actually see some resemblance with the arches at Mezquita in Cordoba.

Day 3, Granada

It's the day we go to Alhambra.

Highlights include the pool which can reflect the moonlight, the court of the lions (thanks lah orang yang rosakkan!), the motto of Nasrid dynasty in Arabic calligraphy being written and sculptured all over the place and the encounter with a sweet lady by the name of Hope.

"...Don't you see how water overflows the borders

and the warned drains are here against it?

They are like the lover who in vain

tries to hide his tears from his beloved..."

(I just love this part of the poem which was encrypted on the basin of the Court of the Lions)

At the Palace of Charles V (the only Christian building in the whole fortress), it was destined that we found Hope. Working in the museum, she offered us a tour and it was complimentary. And throughout the fine, expressive elucidations, I just can't deny that she somehow illustrated her izzah towards Islam, masyaAllah. And among the things which I could recall (that was originally from Islam) include the order that we dine during a meal (starting with soup and end with sweets) and even those platform shoes; that were the cutting edge of fashion at that time. A short story on Ziryab was also presented to us by Mak Cik Izzah (yeap, I call her that). And Mak Cik Izzah was so overwhelmed by the crafts and artwork produced by the Muslim men as they were clearly made by meticulous hands. She even said that Muslim men prioritize cleanliness and they even have perfume for the mosque. Ok, this maybe a bit irrelevant but she said that white and blue had always been the colour of royalty. And I said to myself, "no wonder I love blue" :P

Anyway, the main thing is, everything that we found out from this tour, it all traced back to Islam. Before we go, she asked us to translate her name to Malay and we said, "Harapan"...

Day 4, Cordoba

So, we then reached Mezquita where the once majestic mosque is now constructed with chapels at the sides and the middle is now filled with a cathedral. Even Mak Cik Izzah agreed that it is a shame really that the cathedral is built within the mosque. We did go to other places as well but my battery was low so there weren't that much of pictures. And also, a lot of places were closed on Mondays. Anyways, I just want to say to Ahmad Shahrul Kamal and Muhammad Hakim Razali that I don't really mind that I didn't go to you-know-where :P

Day 5, Sevilla

The Great Cathedral of Seville, Giralda (the remaining part of the Mosque which was a minaret, now a bell tower), Real Alcazar (the royal Moorish palace) and we even stopped at Plaza de Toros de la Maestranza (a bullring; since Syahir said it was his childhood dream of going to the place).

Day 6, Malaga and adios

Didn't spend much time here. We stayed for a night at a hostel that uses my card as the key for all the rooms. Cool giler!

The next morning, we went to the beach despite the rain and wind that continuously making our paths more treacherous. And the beach? It was dainty. The black sands and the turquoise water served as a good ending to this journey of ours.

-END-

And so, that is it.

I know that Arabic is very useful cause apparently, some of the people that we met prefer to converse in Arabic after Spanish.

I know that Allah has blessed this place to be the location for the Umayyah Caliphate once upon a time.

I know that Muslims rule!

I know that there is Hope...and I know there is hope...

kembali

2010-12-28T19:11:00.001Z

I have never heard such a loud groan from the members of the audience whenever it's time to sing the theme song, hehe.

Anyway, I'm back in Notts and I have to get ready for the thing that's coming in the next couple of weeks. Seriously, I need to be ready.

Firstly, don't worry. The post on Spain will be coming soon insyaAllah. For now, let me enlighten you with something else.

I went to the city this afternoon in the hope of finding a knitwear or a vest ~~and to get 3 chicken wraps for myself~~. Instead, I found 3 vests O_o. But that's not the point. I accidentally went to the city with the jacket which I wore during the winter gathering in Sheffield. The thing is, I've put on a very cool looking badge on the jacket during the event and the badge looks like this:

Hahaha, too bad no one realized that badge (or did they?); if they did, it would have been a very funny experience. So yeah, I got to see lots of lovely faces during the past few days. I've always have this predilection of meeting them...probably because being with them made me stronger. And I don't think I'm exaggerating by saying it gave me that fervent passion to go on. Cause I think it's important really for someone like me to be constantly reminded.

Other than that, a friend of mine flew back to Malaysia several days ago. I actually made plans to meet him but I don't think it was that practical (see Hosni, I'm realistic...sheesh). So yeah, he's back in that place called home. I just hope that he'd be fine...always.

Besides that, I've been reading this book which I borrowed from Fikri (Mat) of Sheffield when I was sleepless in Birmingham, waiting for the flight in the morning. I found this in the novel:

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

Mitch Albom, tuesdays with Morrie, page 43

Which reminds me, I haven't actually tell this to the ones that I care in Nottingham. I probably need to do this soon.

And thus, I proved once again that my style of writing is multi-definition!

And I really need to start with my anatomy...

burn

2010-12-07T10:49:00.001Z

It was still winter at that time. The coldness in that room didn't seem to differ from the atmosphere outside. It was probably the air-conditioner, or perhaps it was that peculiar feeling of fear towards the unknown; that mixture disposition of excitement and timorousness. The module convenor walked into the tasking room along with his favourite biochemistry lecturer. The presence of the two lecturers seemed to illuminate the gloominess that appeared to be surrounding that dull room...

...or it might just be his imagination.

So basically, that was how I felt on the 1st day in the Dissection Room. And it was also the very 1st time I met my cadaver - the cadaver that my group members and I have spent so many hours with in this whole year right from 29th January till 3rd December 2010.

At first, I have to say that I was quite nervous cause I was unsure of what to expect but after several weeks passed, I learned to be familiarized with the cadaver. Let me just explain some of the things that people could probably be wondering what's going on in that freaky room.

The Rumour

And the rumour that cadavers smell; well, they don't actually. At least, mine wasn't. The only odour that will stick to your clothes for hours and hours would be the chemical which we would usually spray at the end of the session. But I never really get nauseated by the smell, so alhamdulillah for that. And the rumour that there are male cadavers only; well, there are female cadavers as well cause we still need to learn about the fairer sex.

The Tools

And the tools that we used; well it ranges from a saw to a butcher's knife, or even chisel and hammer. Interesting, ain't it?

The Dissection

And the dissection; I would truly miss it. That's the best part of anatomy I think. I can still remember the parts which I managed to dissect and got the lecturer's attention - the skin (haha), the anatomical snuff box and the posterior cruciate ligament. The thing which most people dislike, is the last 30 minutes of every session - the assessment!

The Assessment

I have developed a skill on how to hide from my lecturer in his or her presence, thanks to this assessment part. Below is a list of dissection sessions that we had throughout the year along with the grade which I obtained and the topic that we covered. I don't really mind writing it down cause they're not that impressive.

Sem 2:

Week 1 - C - Mediastinum
Week 2 - B - Triangles of the Neck
Week 3 - A - Roots of Neck
Week 4 - Safe! - Flexor compartments of upper limb
Week 5 - Safe! - Wrist and hand
Week 6 - C - Extensor compartments of upper limb
Week 7 - A - Thigh (Anterior and medial)
Week 8 - Safe! - Gluteal region and thigh (Posterior)
Week 9 - Unknown - Leg, popliteal fossa, leg and foot
Week 10 - Unknown - Joints of the lower limb

In Sem 3, I decided to write down the names of my lecturers that assessed us ~~for avenging purposes~~.

Sem 3:

Week 1 - Unknown - Abdominal Wall - BP

Week 2 - Unknown - GI tract - BP

Week 3 - Safe! - Pancreas, Gall Bladder, Liver - HS

Week 4 - Safe! - Posterior Body Wall, Kidneys, Diaphragm - LE

Week 5 - B - Bony Pelvis and Contents - WE

Week 6 - Safe! - Perineum - RG

Week 7 - B - Pelvic Organs - BR

Week 8 - Safe! - Back and Spinal Cord - BP

Week 9 - Safe! - Face, Jaw and Scalp - BR

Week 10 - B - Brain, Cranial Nerves, Skull - PR

Week 11 - Safe! - Oral Cavity, Nasal Cavity, Pharynx & Larynx - RG

Week 12 - Pending (it's this Thu) - Eye and Ear - RG (I think)

1 session is about 3 hours, thus 21 sessions means we've spent about 63 hours with the cadaver. Wow! And the very last session would be cadaver-less.

Anyway, it has been quite heck of a year. Truth be told, I enjoyed the dissections in the previous semester better. Truth be told, I'm scared that I might choose anatomy as my project for 3rd year. Cause I really like anatomy but I don't know, I never scored well.

Actually yesterday, I went to the funeral for the cadavers. My cadaver was scheduled to be cremated this morning but I didn't really have a friend to go with me today so I went to the funeral yesterday. Initially, I thought we'd be in a large room and we could see the fire being lit up as it engulfs the coffin. Me and my imagination~

It was quite pleasant I think. We all went into the chapel at the crematorium and sat to listen to the persons entitled to deliver the services. The interesting part is, our module convenor was one of the people and she was the last one. Cool giler!

"And surely to our Lord we must return."

(Az-Zukhruf, 43:14)

So, the coffins which were brought into the chapel were put behind the curtains and later, when the curtains were drawn and reopened, they vanished...

say my name

2010-11-30T11:30:00.002Z

I have always wanted to make this post. I planned to do it on my next birthday but that would be another year to wait and by that time who knows? I might not see the world filled with butterflies and rainbows anymore. Kah3.

Anyway, here's a special post by Adlan Wafi:

and now, i have a friend in a nearby county who loves calling me wafi

At the time when I was little, I had always have people around me who call me by the name of Wafi - Mak, Ayah, Opah, Nenek, Atuk...well you get the idea. There were hardly no Adlan-callers :P So, you can tell why my expression lit up when people call me by the name of Wafi. So basically, I had always known by the name of Wafi until I got into primary school. That's the beginning of the era of Adlan.

Did you know that my colleagues in the University of Nottingham call me Wafi? They do actually and I have the tendency to introduce myself as Wafi in the UK just to ensure that Adlan won't dominate. Cause most of my friends call me Adlan and I do want some Wafi-callers around. Essentially, my family calls me Wafi so everytime I hear the name Wafi, it reminds me of home :)

Little did you know that I can remember the people who call me Wafi; cause this would fall under the category of sentimental events so I should have a good memory on that :P

And when people call me Wafi, it sure makes me feel good. I just love the sound of wafi, especially wafie. I just love phonetics! Thanks to Ms Nora Azany, ihik2. You see when people say Wafi, they're pronouncing ˈwɒfi and if you put an "e" at the end so it'll be Wafie, it would sound ˈwɒfiii (^^,)

Nicknames! Now, where do I start? In my life, I've encountered lots and lots of nicknames being thrown at me ranging from tabby cat to telur, and so many others like woff, cute, comel, botak (Irfan calls me botak when I start to become a nuisance to him :P). And not to forget, lan and wafer. I have to say, I've grown quite fond of the latter ~~although I can't imagine being called by that on a daily basis~~.

Wafi! Call me by this name and you have a high chance of making my day :)

But I have to say that there are several past events which I find quite funny. For example:

HTAR - When I introduced myself as Wafi during CAS when I wanted to donate blood, the nurse exclaimed, "Wafi?? Kamu ni lelaki ke perempuan??" LOL

MRSM TGB - "Jangan panggil dia Wafi! Panggil dia Adlan!" Cikgu Mimi was just being protective I guess, haha. (Jasin students should know why she reacted this way) She gave this remark when other teachers in the Science Unit at the staffroom started calling me Wafi. Lots and lots of them. You can imagine myself in the state of euphoria when I hear my name floating in the air over and over again and I'm just filled with glee.

And I actually decided to publish this post now because of the recent events that took place in November...such as:

3rd - I changed my Facebook profile picture to my name written in khat by a friend from a nearby county who calls me Wafi =)

6th - I was walking along the roadside at Powerleague when someone hollered "WAFI!" with a smile engraved on his face. Little did he know that he made my day =)

14th - Someone from afar who calls me Wafi dropped by my house to see me =)

21st - Someone (I do know who it was ) woke me up for Subuh by calling me Wafi =)

22nd - Overhearing a conversation via the phone when they refer to me by the name of Wafi =)

Frankly, I love greeting people by their name. It's simply a trait which I learned. Thanks to Ms Devasara, my Modern Mathematics teacher whom highlighted the importance of this little thing. It was one day in SSAAS when she came to the class for the 1st time and said, "Greet me by my name." It's interesting really, to greet people by their names. So I brought in the tradition to KMB (cause it was the first AND only time where I became a class rep, thus more power to influence the style of organisation in class ;P). So, it was fun and all to annunciate my teachers' names everytime they came and left the classroom despite the fact that Ms Iliani didn't like the idea. I bet she enjoyed it deep down inside, heh :P

I guess that is it. Call me adlan, call me wafi. I'm fine with both. You can even call me by my full forename - Adlan Wafi! Like how my Additional Mathematics teacher, Cikgu Juraida from Jasin would usually do. It sounds so cool when people call you by your full name! So that's the story of my name. I'm sure you have yours. Being me, adlan wafi...

teenage dream

2010-11-18T14:53:00.000Z

Do you remember the time when you're a teenager?

You kinda have a list of possible future careers:

- a professional badminton player

- a renowned food critic

- a cool CSI agent

- a fit and healthy dietitian

- an articulate lawyer

And you even have this aspiration of getting married young so the age difference between you and your firstborn would not be that large, you're going to open up your own restaurant even if you already have a job just because you love the food industry, you'll be one of the most influential video makers and each of your masterpiece will touch the hearts of many, you want to memorize the Quran by heart, you planned to become a composer or a lyricist so you can produce songs that you had always wanted to sing but you can't because you don't have the gift, you wish to capture lots and lots of inspiring shots with the camera that you have or you hope that you would publish several creative writings just simply because you love to write and you're expressive in that way.

Yeah, the good old times huh? Well, I am impressed really with the human mind. We can have so many wishes especially when we were younger.

But really, what's so different now compared to back then? You're still you. And all those dreams were yours. Sorry, I meant all those dreams ARE yours, insyaAllah.

Did you get the point? Dreams will be dreams as long as you want them to be. You've dreamed them for so long; and it's about time to realize them =)

The Nottingham Advantage Award

Anyway, I'm gonna talk a bit about Nottingham since some of my readers complained that I talked too much about myself :P

Basically, I am now an Award student and thus, I'm gonna complete at least 3 modules during my stay in Nottingham before I graduate in the year 2014. And hopefully, I'll attain the Nottingham Advantage Award along with my double degree. So, my first module is:

Student Associate Scheme!

Actually, I got an email yesterday saying that I got the job, alhamdulillah =)))

I guess I'll be working alongside teachers then, at a local primary school with all those lovely kids (^^,)

I guess I'll be going back to classrooms then, the place where I had always enjoy spending time in (~~the place where i can actually focus unlike the lecture halls where i'd rather skip and study on my own~~).

I just can't wait to go back to school!

Frankly, I do relish my teenage years. I was aspired to go further, take a chance and don't ever look back...

smile

2010-11-03T00:00:00.003Z

Long, long time ago, there was an innocent boy by the name of Wafi. He was at the hospital as his parents had just been blessed with another child; which means a little sister for little Wafi! It was at that time when he saw his Opah performing tahnik on Mira; and Wafi, being a curious young lad asked what that was for. Opah thought about the simplest thing to say to his little grandchild and remarked, "so that she would always smile". Little did Opah know that this past event was responsible of my well being in the present. From that day forward, I promised myself that I shall smile to the rest of the world...

"Keep the smile"

"You have a lovely smile"

"Aku suka dengan senyuman kau"

"Geez Adlan, can you please stop smiling?"

"Adlan, senyum la bagi nampak gigi" (my response - tak nak :P)

"Fill in the blank: Adlan Wafi Ramli has never been able to _____.

Stop smiling=)

"Kau banyak senyum, so aku akan panggil kau slimey smiley. Eh, tapi kau pon selalu senyum (while looking at another person who was also in that room)"

And the most popular,

"Adlan, asal kau senyum sorang-sorang?"

Last year, I got a text from my morale booster in Nottingham. "ok no wonder ***** tu ur friend. sama je dua-dua :P" Guess what? This is something that we both share :)

As I go along many phases of life, I apprehended the noteworthiness of smiling and learned that Rasulullah smiles a lot. That made me want to smile even more :)

It's not that hard really...to smile and all. Besides, I practised since I was a kid. Hehe.

(Just happen to love the colours in this photo)

I smile continuously...

when i look to the sky

2010-10-31T23:52:00.004Z

There are times when I find myself lying on my bed and staring into the sky. I really like the window in my room. It's not like the others in this house. It would evince the sky whenever I look through it...

My room :)

It was just the other day when I began to appreciate the ipseity of my room. I was lolling on my bed and the sudden sight of the blue sky above caught my eye. I got up and rested my head directly below it so I can have a better perspective through that diagonal glass.

And that was when I saw them - white fluffy clouds began to hover above. I closed my eyes for a while and when I looked to the sky again, the clouds were a few centimetres away. They're drifting gracefully; slowly but surely. As one cloud passes, another one comes into view; in dissimilar shapes and sizes. I wonder, how many diminutive things in life that I often fail to notice.

The fluffy silhouettes served as a memento for me to be regardful of the greatness of Allah. Why is it so hard for people to cherish these little yet evocative things in life?

Maybe it's because clouds are part of the splendour of the skies.

Maybe it's because we're different.

the

tells stories.

Maybe because...

these boots are made for walkin'

2010-09-06T12:18:00.000+01:00

Catchy tak tajuk post ni? Ok, abaikan.

Just to be clear, I wasn't traumatized after the accident sampai tak boleh nak tulis kat blog dah :P

The thing is, I've been very busy these past few weeks and I still am. But anyway, here's a post for you since I just got an idea of what to write about.

Introducing my new pair of shoes...they're waterproof of course!

Erm...firstly, I wanna apologize if you feel annoyed (yeah, right!) cause this is the 2nd post featuring my waterproof shoes...HAHAHAHAHA.

(The first one being the ~~emotional~~ post entitled september)

Ok, so I decided to get a new pair cause the old one is now ripped at some parts and quotidian use in the UK may have vitiated the waterproof feature. (It has now become my jogging shoes during my summer break in Malaysia :D)

Yeah, once my shoes no longer serve the purpose of becoming waterproof thus, I decided to get a new one. Easy, ain't it?

Thinking about this made me ponder - to what extent do we serve our own purpose of living. Had we for even one moment become indifferent towards our responsibility?

9:39

11:57

47:38

These boots are made for walkin'.

These cool waterproof shoes are made to prevent the wearer's feet from getting wet.

So, what are we made for? Everything has a purpose...

crash

2010-08-18T15:00:00.003+01:00

Location: ELITE Highway, 10.8km

Time: 1800
Day: 7th of Ramadhan 1431 H

Destination: Shah Alam

Vehicle: Honda Accord

The criminal: Adlan Wafi

Passengers: Azizi Al-Hafiz, Syukri Hassan

Crash!

It was raining cats and dogs. Adlan was on his way to send Choki2 to his house in USJ and later, Azizi at KTM Shah Alam. They had previously spent half a day in KMB meeting with teachers and juniors; it was delightful. While maneuvering the car through the heavy downpour, he was slightly diffident of the idea driving in the rain especially with the poor visibility of the road ahead. Azizi advised him to reduce the speed. He obliged. And then, the rain subsided and his view became more vivid. He was grateful and continued his journey.

Soon after, the rain became more menacing although the situation was not as precarious as before. He was on the middle lane and he was close to entering the exit to USJ. And it happened!

The car in front braked and all he could do was to brake as well. Suddenly, the tyres in front swirled to the left...thus, the whole car spins a complete 180 degrees and CRASH!

The front part part of the car hit the divider and thankfully, everyone was okay...

Visual aid

So, Azizi & Syuk asked if I was ok. And yeah, I was. I went outside to take a look and ya Allah, teruk jugak. So, I decided to call my mum.

Adlan: "Mak, Wafi accident."

Mak: "WAFIIIII!!!" (she sounded as if she was about to cry, huhu...sori Mak)

Adlan: "Mak, Wafi ok...Wafi ok."

And I could actually hear a hint of relief in her tone of voice. She said don't do anything until she arrives and don't tell my dad about it so that he won't be worried of me.

So, only about an hour later, did help arrived. The tow truck came and off we went into my mum's car. My mum told me that she was talking to my dad 5 minutes before I called and guess what's the topic of their discussion? Me! Dad was asking if I had arrived home. My mum explained that my dad rarely asked whether or not I had arrived home whenever I go off driving somewhere. And I was like...wow! Maybe betul kata Syuk, "firasat seorang bapa".

I was feeling really bad for both Azizi and Syuk as they were supposed to have iftar with their family members at home, instead they had iftar with me -_-"

So, eventually my dad calls my mum again. This time, it was time to let him know what had happened. My mum gave her phone to me and all the time, I kept hearing my dad's voice asking if I was okay..."Wafi okay?" over and over again. And aku rasa terharu macam nak nangis sebab Mak dengan Ayah sangat sayangkan aku :')

So, we dropped Azizi off at KTM Subang around 8.30pm and he said "thanks for the experience". Ok, at least he's positive. And Syuk benevolently agreed to show us the way to the Balai Polis and he stayed with us till about 11.00pm. Syuk kept asking if I was okay since the accident happened; even when we're at the police station at night and he kept putting his arms around me. Huhuhu.

And that's what happened yesterday...

Firstly, I'm not traumatized. I really am okay. But I was nervous when I was interviewed by the sergeant (it was like another medical interview). It's just that I feel bad, frustrated and guilty. Aku banyak menyusahkan orang - I made my parents worried sooooo much, Azizi's and Syukri's plans for the night was cancelled because of me, and all other people - passers-by who stopped by and asked if I need any help, polis, pak cik tow truck, etc.

Nevertheless,

Alhamdulillah, no one got hurt.

Alhamdulillah, I didn't hit anyone.

Alhamdulillah, there were no cars in the left lane.

Alhamdulillah, the tyres swirled to the left instead of to the right.

Alhamdulillah, It wasn't that serious as most people said (but to me, it is).

Alhamdulillah, Azizi and Syukri weren't hurt (if anything happened to them, I'm not sure how I can live with it for the rest of my life).

Hikmahnya...my mum gets to meet Azizi and Syukri. Ihik2.

Ibrahnya...Adlan Wafi, jangan bawa laju-laju masa hujan. Ish3. Alhamdulillah, Allah saved us from a fatal accident. Allah gave us a chance to continue our lives in this world. Maybe Allah wants to teach me how to drive in heavy downpour (Aku pernah drive masa hujan lebat tapi tak pernah drive waktu hujan lebat gilerrrr). Allah gave me an early warning in life so I wouldn't have the tendency to do it in the future. Allah saved us. Oh and by the way, there goes my clean record of zero accidents...

do it

2010-08-11T10:31:00.001+01:00

On my table, there's this piece of paper where I'd write a list of things to do, I call it the Stress Paper!

My current stress paper

Let's flashback! I remembered having this Stress Paper since my years in MRSM TGB (Jasin) and I guess I've become more organized as time goes by, alhamdulillah.

It's not that I usually forget what to be done. This paper has a psychological purpose - the more things to be done on the list, the more stressful I be (ok, it's more appropriate to write "the more stressful I should be"). On the other hand, the more things get accomplished, the more contented I would be.

So, why do I brag on this piece of paper? Well silly, it's about setting aims and goals especially in this month of Ramadhan. Come on, I know you do have your own goals thus, surely you want to get it done, right?

After all, we don't even know for sure if we will meet Ramadhan again next year. So, set your aims and do it...

natural

2010-07-27T07:27:00.003+01:00

Muhammad Izzuddin Iliyes once compared dakwah to solat.

Bayangkan orang tu kata, "Eh, aku tak layak buat dakwah!"

Renungkan.

Sekarang, bayangkan orang tu kata, "Eh, aku tak layak solat!"

lol! kelakar giler.

Hence, Izzuddin continued, "Nak tak nak, dakwah tu memang kita kena buat. Dakwah itu..."

And I completed the sentence with the 1st word that popped into my mind - Natural~

In Southampton, I wrote my name in the sands of summer...

91:8

It's simply natural; it's up to us to choose which road shall we take...

how sweet it is

2010-07-25T13:42:00.004+01:00

"awww...so sweet!"

Who'd knew that we would come up with a catchphrase for our Sabah Relief Mission? :P

The last sunset

Kota Kinabalu, Sabah

Well, it's been a wonderful 7 days journey in Sabah (8th - 14th July 2010) as students from Ireland, UK and CUCMS went to SMK Desa Kencana, Felda Sahabat, Lahad Datu hoping that our presence would actually be beneficial.

It began with a 12 hour roller-coaster ride inside a bus which departed from KKIA right before Maghrib and throughout the journey, I've experienced several adrenaline rushes. The roads were treacherous and there were no lights at the sides, thus inevitably promoting zikrul maut into the hearts of those who were awake or partially conscious in their seats. Then, at some point while in the bus, we eventually came to a place where we can see lights from the houses or stalls that were around a valley. It was pretty, really. I would have taken a picture of it but I was too tired to grab my ZR1...

Let's flashback for a while...

It was night time in Nottingham and suddenly Adlan got a message on Facebook (he loves the message system on FB, cause he could see all the previous messages as if it was written in as a conversation. And he likes to reminisce; especially with his ability to revive past sentimental events within his mind. Plus, even if the other person deletes it, the messages in his inbox would be unaffected thus, preventing his emotions to become unstable for the rest of the week - like when you write on a person's wall and that person deletes it...PERGH!!! Koyak siot). It was Ina (Amal O, one of the J Club 7) who invited him to join Sabah Relief Mission during the summer holidays in Malaysia.

Yeah, Adlan loves this stuff but he knows he doesn't want to take too much workload and in the end, nothing gets completed -_-" But since Ina said it would not take too much time or energy, Adlan decided to take it into consideration and after discussing the matter at hand with his parents and some of his friends which were carefully selected, he decided to give it a go. Alhamdulillah, it went extremely well ;)

Let's keep it brief, here are some of the things that happened in Sabah:

This was the school where we had our sunathon.

Yup, I got to inject local anesthetic and even did some suturing.

(Tangan menggeletar tu biasa bagi orang yang baru mencuba :D)

We provided free health checkup that very morning when we arrived at the school

This was when we had our motivational session with the students.

As you can see, they're all cheerful and delighted to meet us, hehe. I even showed them the video which I recorded with Syakir when it was snowing for the first time in Nottingham :D

This is the beach where we all would go to when we feel like crying...

Yeah, we also had a singing competition. Ok, kidding. We sang Laskar Pelangi by Nidji in the end of the flying sharing session.

And here we were in Kundasang where the kid in the picture suddenly became everyone's centre of attention

This was in Kinabalu Park Complex where lots of photography sessions were held as some of us got lost in the woods.

And here I was; buying some edible souvenirs to be taken back home

Such sweet smiley faces in a place so salty, hehe

This was the place where we can get souvenirs (but I heard there's a cheaper place, Kampung Air if I'm not mistaken) and also the place where mobile sellers would move around selling stuff ranging from N97 to Gucci sunglasses begging so that they can go back home. You shouldn't stop walking or they'll come for you :P

And here is everyone!

It's intersting really; I got to meet the great people of CUCMS (who taught us how to do it) - Prof Latiff, Prof Ikram, Radhi, Sha, Imran, Halim, Farid, Omar, Afiq, Raja, Farhana, Bee, Niza. Also some sisters from Russia but didn't get to know all of them.

Moreover, I got to know my seniors AND a lot of them are from KMB (tak sedar pon masa awal-awal). The seniors - Zain, Syakila, Mayura, Sophia, Ikin, Shira, Asma, Erni, Gembo, Iqbal, Athirah.

Lastly, I got to meet the people of the same batch as I am with some of them which I never had the chance to be sengal with (till we're in Sabah). The people of my batch are - Mozac, Ali, Luqman, Pizu, Yahya, Hazwan, Zuhri, Lyn, Yan, AdD, Lisa and of course, Ina.

Allah, thanks for everything! So sweet!!!

"Erti hidup pada memberi"

Selagi kita hidup, selagi tu kita kena memberi...betul tak Cha?

I just love blue

That's all from Adlan Wafi and that's all from being me...

the climb

2010-06-22T02:27:00.000+01:00

It's my last night...

And so, I shall finish the story with this post

7th-9th April 2010

Edinburgh

It's splendidly breathtaking. Period.

Can't find a different one, haha

And we bumped into several KMBians after spotted them while on a bus

And we even go to North Berwick

(I love this pic...so blue)

This is where Shafiq Zuki forced us to climb this hill in North Berwick :P

Ada orang suruh saya pose, so saya pon pose la kejap

Ooooo...N.B. Scotland is the first place where I go to the beach since I arrived in the UK

This is the mosque in Edinburgh

This is Prince Street, probably the main street in Edinburgh

Yeah, JK Rowling loves touching cement which are not fully dried

And this is our tour guide on our last day in Edinburgh, Nurul Iman

To be honest, I love the fact that Edinburgh has many places for me to climb - Arthur's Seat, Calton Hill, Scott Monument, etc. Actually, after I returned back to Notts, I Googled and walked all around my uni to find a hill, haha. The only hill I can find here is Portland Hill.

The thing about climbing is that...you'll hurt your legs and you get hungry or thirsty along the way but once you reached to the top, the view from above can be very spectacular.

It surely made me feel blissful :)

-END-

So this would be the last post before I fly back home. And the results are out! Didn't really know what I got but I know I passed, alhamdulillah. Gonna check my result at Dubai International Airport during my transit, hehe.

In a nutshell, I can say that I survived the climb as a 1st year Medic, heh. Ok people, the real climb is very far from over. So, let's strive shall we...

a house is not a home

2010-06-16T20:40:00.002+01:00

People, my story isn't finished...my next stop after York was...Newcastle!

5th-7th April 2010

Newcastle Upon Tyne

Wafi was intrigued about his next destination; wondering if Newcastle has anything new to offer. It was his first time riding in a first class coach. Looking through the window, he sipped some of the tea from his cup; two sugars and milk - his favourite. Then, Wafi realized he's approaching the place where most people converse in Geordie dialect. The train was moving on a bridge and as he looked out, masyaAllah. Stunningly beautiful! Bridges as far as his eyes can see...it was like arriving in a fictional city which only comes to life in the silver screens. He said to himself, "Cool giler".

1st class!

Hehe, just trying my talent in writing. Not so good I guess. Yeah, I love Newcastle. And this is my story:

The tradition

Me and Muz ran against the wind (this is my favourite thing to do on a windy day). There's something about running against the wind which makes me feel good. By the way, he told me he's not reading my blog anymore. So, I decided to put his picture here :D

Farid was busy with someone who got so excited to see a canon

Kan dah kata...

Ruins (aku tak ingat kat mana, yang aku tau...station Tynemouth)

The view from within

The stadium in the middle of the city

Tyne Bridge

~~Helmi Sohor, gambar ni tak kontroversi macam kau punya~~

By the way, I refuse to put any pictures of Millenium Bridge because my camera's not good and I'm not good at taking pictures of the bridge :P

Anyway, Zaid Jasmin has been actively following me on Twitter. Kantoi! And I got to eat nasi lemak and roti canai :D This is the proof:

Roti Canai

(only in Newcastle & Cork :P)

And lastly, thank you Farid. Something about Newcastle made me feel like at home (maybe sebab kau bagi aku makan banyak kot). Kalau dekat, aku dah datang selalu, huhu.

One of the windiest days of my life

To Farid Wajdi and Zulhilmi Ibrahim, wait for me in 2nd year, insyaAllah...

it's a man's man's man's world

2010-06-12T22:16:00.003+01:00

A song struck a chord with me...

Man
Husband. Father. Brother. Son.

Woman
Wive. Mother. Sister. Daughter.

A reminder,

An-Nisaa 4:32

"...orang-orang lelaki ada bahagian dari apa yang mereka usahakan, dan orang-orang perempuan pula ada bahagian dari apa yang mereka usahakan; (maka berusahalah kamu) dan pohonkanlah kepada Allah akan limpah kurnianya. Sesungguhnya Allah sentiasa Mengetahui akan tiap-tiap sesuatu."

"...men shall have the benefit of what they earn and women shall have the benefit of what they earn; and ask Allah of His grace; surely Allah knows all things."

And another,

An-Nisaa 4:34

"Kaum lelaki itu adalah pemimpin dan pengawal yang bertanggungjawab terhadap kaum wanita, kerana Allah telah melebihkan orang lelaki (dengan beberapa keistimewaan) atas orang perempuan, dan juga kerana orang lelaki telah membelanjakan (memberi nafkah) sebahagian daripada harta mereka..."

"Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women)..."

photo by carf

And I got this from Cha:

complementary posts on My Lens and Saifulislam

Nothing without a woman or a girl...

use somebody

2010-05-29T23:48:00.002+01:00

I just can't describe the feeling that I have after facing the torment yesterday ~~and the day before that~~, I just can't.

But thankfully, I got the inspiration to write several blogpost(s).

You know..when you have this feeling that you want to perform so well but when you're actually doing it, you eventually realize it's not going your way. Okay, I need to remind myself that I did everything I could and it's not like I didn't prepare wholeheartedly. After all, isn't there a saying that goes like this - do your best and let Allah do the rest. Yeah, I did my part. Now I have to tawakal.

Heh, maybe it's just because I could really use somebody...

because of you

2010-04-28T13:53:00.002+01:00

did you know...we should do everything for Allah?

"Every single thing - starting from the glorious dawn when we wake up till we close our eyes under the night sky; it's all for Allah"

7 things, being me, Nov 3, 2008

Well, I suddenly remembered several events in my life which made me feel so tense, so apprehensive that I couldn't imagine anyone else being in my shoes.

Before I go on, here's another place where I stopped by during my trip...

5th April 2010

York

A typical street in York

Yeap, Maliq joined us and we had breakfast at Bettys while discussing a very interesting topic

York Minster, Northern Europe's largest gothic cathedral

The 2nd spiral staircase that I climbed after the one in Oxford's, and it's much higher and narrower (285 steps)

York Boat!

I guess this picture sums up everything :D

Back then, when I was in MRSM TGB (MRSM Jasin), I shared with Yati (Deputy President of BWP 05/06 and then she became my classmate, M07J KMB 07/09) a saying which is coined by myself,

"Whenever you feel tense or under pressure while doing something, always remember you're doing it for Allah"

Adlan Wafi Ramli, MRSM TGB, 2005/06

And when I remind myself that I'm doing it for Him, it sure made me feel less burdened or stressful and I feel more peaceful and sort of untroubled.

Yeah, we might be doing something because of various reasons.

I arranged the heavy tables at the dining hall of MRSM TGB (with the help of friends) because it's my job, I study because I want to pass the exam, I want to play the piano (or keyboard) because it's been my childhood dream, I smile like 24/7 because I promised myself when I was a kid (at least, that's why I think).

Whatever the reasons are; we should know that the core, the basis, the underlying intention of why we're doing everything is truly for Allah :)

And now, I shall continue to study...